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Steven, We're Stuck in a Loop.


Whoah, Episode 296? Rika and Mai-via-Ruby are still in pancake limbo, but a gnawing curiosity draws Mai deeper into Tammy's breakfast dungeon. Or, perhaps it's just a kitchen. Either way, it's gonna get messy. Pancakes and syrup flying every which way, bits of breakfast meat shrapnel peppering the walls and unlucky bystanders. Only one can emerge victorious, but it's going to be costly.

Time's really been getting away from me lately. I don't know how some of my contemporaries are able to juggle adult life with the whole cartooning thing, but I suspect this is one of those life lessons that you learn by tumbling head first into the deep end. On the plus side, things have been going really well. Moving into a new home has been a positive life change for both Rin and myself, and we're finally feeling like the place is "ours". There's a lot of work left to do, but for the first time in a long time, things feel genuinely stable.

Work has had its ups and downs, but employment remains steady in an incredibly tumultuous economy. 2012 seemed like the year the video game industry was going to (once again) collapse under its own weight, but here we are, limping into the new year. I spent most of the summer and fall going up and down the west coast, flying the Sega banner at our major trade shows. I've been told that working cons isn't fun, but truth be told, it's been a welcome change of pace. I think I like being in the thick of it.

My new year's resolution is to make a genuine effort to get back into the swing of things here. I miss having a weekly comic, and I'd like to make it to the finish line while I still have (natural) color in my hair. OHP has had an extremely long run, and it's grown and changed with me a lot over the years. While it's not the story I thought I'd write eleven years ago, it's the story I'm glad I did.

Happy 2013, folks!

Hello again! It's been a while, but here's Episode 295, anyway. Rika and her body-confused friend find themselves at a crossroads. Bacon or sausage? Pancake or waffle? One breakfast or two? This can only be settled with an eating contest.

As it turns out, I may have slightly miscalculated the amount of time required to get House GD in order. I knew home ownership was a parade of fix-'em-up projects, but I wasn't quite expecting a three-ring circus. We're still living out of boxes, but most of the furniture's arrived and there is a growing sense of stuff being where it ought to be, rather than spread out evenly across the floor. This is all well and good, but what scares me is that I'm finding myself getting excited over finding deals at the hardware store and the kitchen and bath outlets. I got old and I didn't even notice.

I made a brief appearance in Los Angeles, staffing Sega's booths at E3. Worked first party for the first time, which wasn't quite as fun as wrangling things in Sega's booth proper, but it was nice to see people genuinely excited about our games again (Jet Set Radio and Hell Yeah! in particular). Didn't get to see much of the South Hall between shifts, but we were right next to Atlus' booth in the West Hall. My greatest takeaway from the show? Zeno Clash II is finally coming. Yessssssss.

Ah yes, that "we" bit from earlier. Rin and I are currently trying our hands at domestic life, after a wild and crazy cross-country car trip through the deep south. Go say hi and ask her to draw things!

That's all for now! I'll be heading out of town to work San Diego Comic Con pretty soon, but once I'm back at basecamp, we can continue with these ladies. Stay tuned!

They Broke His Pelvis.


Good morning, webcomics connoisseur! Today is your lucky day, because it just so happens that Episode 294 is ready and raring to go. After a brief interlude that involved plenty of gratuitous nudity (as showers often do), the girls begin the day's adventure as anyone would: in search of fried batter covered in hot sap. On the way, Rika's newly bruised behind becomes the subject of a heated royalties debate. Who really profits when your butt makes it big?

I must apologize for the lack of news and updates lately. As you may know, I've been looking into buying a condo for about six months. I am glad to say that my search is at an end, and I am now a homeowner. It's a huge step for me, and I'm hoping that this change in my life will afford me the extra peace of mind I need to get back to what really matters to me, which is my art, my friends and my family. It's been a... unique learning experience, and an expensive one. But at the end of the day, I'm really happy with what I've got. A ten-minute commute, a central location to the entire peninsula... Daly City, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Rather than giving you folks just the splash page (as is the OHP holiday tradition), I decided to go ahead and do the next page. Hopefully it was worth the wait! The holiday spread will be postponed until a suitably awesome holiday arrives in 2012. Prepare for it! On a similar note, it's been a while since oekaki happened. I'll rectify that, as well.

See you next page!

A Little Poker Tomorrow Night?


Greetings, reader! Today I'm celebrating crawling one year closer to death by sharing Episode 293 with you! Mai uses the tried and true method of peer pressure to coerce Rika into a day of utter slacking... but at what cost? Will she ever know the gentle caress of a chair again?

It has certainly been a busy season. I am currently miles and miles away from OHP Base Camp, supervising holiday processions and ensuring the new year arrives without a hitch in West Virginia. So far, everything's gone according to plan; I've even been offered tasty treats by the locals. Combined with a mild winter, this truly is a Christmas Miracle.

I was pretty bummed to find out that Ricky Garduno is no longer with us. I never knew him personally, but I was a silent admirer of his work. Though his absence will definitely leave a void in the world of webcomics, one can hope that he's finally found the peace that he'd been craving. He was a talented guy and he will be missed.

On a less sad note, the Holiday Special will make its annual reappearance upon my return at the beginning of January some point. Until then, stay frosty and have a bodacious holiday season!

The Turkey Was a Trap.


Happy November! Episode 292 is here to commemorate the occasion. It turns out that while Ruby is excellent at a great number of things (push-ups, pile drivers, sitting, and drinking included), preparing coffee is not among them. Mai has decided to share this knowledge as a courtesy... and a warning.

You may recall me singing the praises of The Binding of Isaac last time around. Those of you who resisted may be interested to know that a pretty big update came out on Halloween, making it even more awesome. Seriously, get it. On a related note, after about a year of trying on and off, I finally beat the Dark World in Super Meat Boy. You know what that feels like?


I also saw Rubber recently. I'm not sure what to say about that. But I liked it. I think.

Thanks for reading, as usual! I'm gonna try to get at least a page and the special out before this year comes to a close. I feel like I've overcome a small hurdle by finally switching arcs again. Now I just need the free time to do it; hunting for a condo is a lot of work!

Until next time!

The Whirling Infinite.


Hello again, readers! An Episode 291 is now available. Been a while since we've checked in on the rest of the girls, so it's high time we corrected that. You can learn a lot about a person observing them first thing in the morning. You can also trick them into drinking things that may or not be considered coffee by the strict definition of the word. But hey, what are friends for besides sharing pain in the name of love?

Speaking of which, you should probably play The Binding of Isaac if you have even a passing interest in The Legend of Zelda, Smash T.V. or Super Meat Boy. Just sayin'. It's great and it'll make you feel great.

More comics soon!

No Matter Where You Go... There You Are.


Out of the wild blue yonder comes Episode 290, and no sooner does it show up than it takes off running. Like a full-on sprint, because dinner's on the line, here. And good luck if that red thing gets there first!

This is the last update in space for a while! Next page, we'll be rejoining the girls on Earth. Surely you haven't forgotten about Rika, Mai and Ruby! Shenanigans happen outside of the confines of space-faring vessels, too.

There were a couple of new gifts since last time! Stormbadger and Sigma serve up a double dose of Ruby, because there's a lot of her to go around. Ruby's doing battle with Cecil, there. May the most intoxicated win! Thanks again, youse guys!

This has been a good couple of months for games. My main man, Eric Chahi, finally released his newest thang. While I would have preferred a puzzle platformer (as I'm not super keen on strategy games or god sims), From Dust is proving to be pretty engaging... technical shortcomings aside. I also got sucked into Catherine for a bit, which is really goddamn good. When developers try to make "mature" titles, folks, this is what they're striving to be. Brutally hard puzzle games still have a market with many of us, Game Industry. Don't let the braying of a vocal minority stifle creativity!

Sega's sending me to Seattle to staff PAX, so I'll be out of town this week. New pages soon to follow!

Hello again, startled reader! That strange sensation you're feeling is the unexpected appearance of Episode 289; the persistent rash is something else entirely. The Red Thing's hunger crisis may finally be at an end; the more edible members of the cast are no doubt elated. This may put something of a kink in Julian's well-oiled plan, but that mostly went out the window the moment the plan got dissolved in stomach acid. So now what?!

A couple of new oekaki showed up in between pages. Fancy! There have been several requests for OHP-related shenanigans, so I'll see what I can do about that. And my goodness, I've almost hit 250!

As always, thanks for reading! More soon, I hope.

Greetings, readers! Episode 288 comes out of nowhere! Thus ends the short and angry life of a tall and angry man; unfortunately, this really didn't do much of anything to stave off the hunger of a large and angry monster lady. Though we seem to have moved on from anger to grief at this point...

I must apologize for the extended radio silence. I hadn't planned on it, but a few weeks turned into a few months REALLY QUICK. I recognize how totally lame that is. On the plus side, I'm feeling much more energized and inspired than I have in a long time. Guess I just needed a vacation? At any rate, I will do my best to try to get back to a more regular schedule.

There a have been a few new oekaki since the last news post. Behold!

After you're done beholding those, behold these new gifts! Delightful things abound.

I am currently out of town visiting an awesome lady, but I'll be back soon to sling more comics in your general direction. As always, thanks for reading!

The Scissors are the Barbers.


Hello, everyone! I hope you all had an excellent holiday. I didn't get a chance to post this in a timely fashion, but I wanted to make sure that OHP got its yearly winter treatment. Julian apparently got a nice sweater for Christmas that he's busy breaking in; Ruby, of course, always comes prepared.

New art and oekaki also happened! What a crazy world we live in!

More soon! As always, thanks for reading!

Out of nowhere, Episode 287 appears! Utilizing a secret technique handed down through generations of harmonic artists as a powerful hand-based emetic, Pepito and Zukie effectively ruin the appetites of everyone in the room. Nothing a quick shower wouldn't fix, though... right?

While OHP was asleep, gift art happened! Rin drew this very sexy Rika, which is not worksafe, but certainly is awesome. Thanks again, lady!

And thank you, reader, for checking back in! Hopefully there'll be another new page soon, barring any more graphics card meltdowns. Until then, stay salty.

Your Songs are Still Playing in my Mind.


Episode 286 is locked and loaded, fearless reader. I don't know if you've ever tried to take food away from something hungry, but let me assure you that it's not as easy as asking. That's where martial arts come in. Did you know that striking the right combination of pressure points can cause your friends and colleagues to return from the digestive tracts of giant space creatures at high velocities? Now you do!

I'm pretty happy with how this one turned out. I was getting a little concerned with how static some of the recent pages were looking, so I decided to mix it up a little with a few unusual angles and some more of those bigger, juicier panels. We'll be returning to the drama unfolding on the planet's surface, soon; these slow patches always seem to hit poor Julian the hardest. Just a little more, and we can let him rest for a bit.

Things at work have been a little crazy lately. Through a series of strange events, I am now in charge of my test team. As in, the boss. Like whoa. On the one hand, it's a tad scary... but on the other, I've never been more ready to take charge, and everyone has been extremely helpful and encouraging. It's kind of cool to wake up in the morning on a weekday and feel a sense of excitement instead of the usual dread and regret.

Refreshing, even!

What's On Your Mind?


Suddenly, an Episode 285 appears! Quick, Julian, grab those boots before they disappear!

I appreciate your continued patience, faithful reader! No-one likes webcomic droughts, myself included. Especially when the drought in question involves my own webcomic. Terrible! The good news in all of this is that I think I've turned the corner, as my Draw Power appears to be slowly returning.

You may have noticed that a new oekaki was posted, featuring none other than the star of a certain adult-themed comic. This has stirred all kinds of not-safe-for-work emotions within me, which will probably result in more naughty oekaki in the near future.

Finally, after 19 years, a worthy spiritual successor to Another World has been realized in Limbo. It's no small secret that I consider Another World to be the best game ever made (no, really!), so this sort of praise is not handed down lightly. Limbo delivers the kind of silent elegance rarely seen in gaming, much less puzzle platforming. The solutions to every obstacle are both logical and rewarding, which makes Limbo a pleasure to progress through. If you're a fan of the works of Eric Chahi, don't let the 15-dollar price point dissuade you. This is an absolute gem and it should not be overlooked.



Well hello there, boys and girls. I've clawed my way back into your world from the clutches of death, and come bearing gifts from BEYOND THE GRAVE (cue lightning, thunder, etc.). First and foremost is a slightly dusty Episode 284, which has minimal shelf wear and is in near-mint condition. Just when things are looking grim for Jinny, Sarge finds he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Not Big Red, though, she can chew just fine.

Second, which you've probably already seen if you've browsed the comments on the last entry, is a couple of new oekaki. Jinny fans, rejoice! Zukie fans can also rejoice, but maybe slightly less, since she's no stranger to the oekaki scene.

Third, I finally updated the gifts page, because god damn was it out of date. Like, four years out of date? Really? Fuck. Despite my weak update-fu, Gabo drew a totally fantastic Ruby, as he's prone to doing. Thanks again, man! You rock my world.

Thanks for sticking around, attractive reader! I know sometimes it seems like OHP is on the ropes, but rest assured that I'm still at it. I have a bunch of real life stuff kicking my ass lately, but as I've found time and again, true happiness can be found only in the stylus.

I Will Die After You, I'll See to That!


Good news, everyone! Episode 283 happened. In case you had any doubts, Sergeant Cueball is not a very nice person. When push comes to shove, he's usually ready with a shoulder charge. He's also been dying for an excuse to use that shiny new tactical baton. Stiff upper lip, private! Things always get worse before they get better!

I have got so much e-mail to catch up on. This week! Thanks for being patient.

You guys should check out Imaginary Monsters if you haven't already! It just got started a few months ago, so catching up is easy (also fun). You might even make a habit of it. Liberal use of the word 'dude' makes me feel right at home.

Hey gang! Episode 282 is good to go. You might recognize this guy from somewhere. He hasn't smiled in almost four years. Not because he's unhappy, mind you--the man loves his work. But he didn't get there by smiling, no sir. Being a hard-ass is a full-time job, and when you want to climb the ranks, you've gotta put in some overtime.

So hey, happy 2010! While I was away, I drew a sexy lady. Said lady also happened to draw a few things right back at me! Naked things. Not only did she beat me to the punch with this fantastic Jinny (gasp!), she also made this naughty Pepito, who is going to get such a talking to if Zukie ever finds out. Check out more of Rin's stuff right here!

The first few panels of the next comic are already drawn. More soon?

I Can Eat More Stuff than Prince.


Happy Holidays, everybody! I suppose the real question is whether a wrapping or an unwrapping is going on... I'll leave that up to you, the discerning viewer, to decide! Consider it my gift to you!

Sadly, I was not able to complete the next strip before time ran out. But I will do my best to kick the bad-boy up onto this here site when I return. See you all next year!

The Best You Can is Good Enough.


Hey, Episode 281 is now up! This one should answer any lingering questions about what would cause such a squishy sound effect on the last page. A lucky break for the gang; a whole lot of not-so-lucky breaks for the fella on guard duty. Rule number one when guarding extremely dangerous criminals: don't stand anywhere near the door.

Since BuzzComix appears to have died forever, I switched OHP over to a new toplist after the last comic page went up. You folks did some serious voting since then! Keep fighting the good fight, net warriors!

Our two-thousand-and-ninth year is quickly drawing to a close. It's been kind of a disappointing run for me in terms of comic output, what with the practically monthly update schedule and all. I've been pretty happy with the art quality, but this glacial pace will not stand. My new year's resolution is to ramp up the productivity again; if not immediately back to weekly, at least something a little less excruciating. I'll be heading out of town for the last two weeks of December, but I'll try my damnedest to get one more page and the yearly holiday special ready before then. Wish me luck!

Episode 280 is now live, ladies and gents. With snacktime temporarily averted, Julian and the girls can concentrate on more pressing matters, like escape! Which, as it turns out, is pretty easy if you've got the right tools. Take, for example, this humongous, hairy can opener.

I was amused to find referral links from an article for something called Marshmallow Hell. I wasn't aware there was actually a name for the act of smothering a person with one's boobs. Thank you, Internet!

The whole world seems to get crazier every day. It's not really all that surprising, though, since being stressed out, over-medicated, and chronically tired is now considered "normal". Some days it seems like the most dangerous thing you can do is walk out the front door.

Episode 279 is now available for your viewing pleasure. This is just not Jinny's day! Being handed over to the D'bo Sisters is generally considered cruel and unusual punishment, on account of them both being cruel and unusual people. While dessert plans appear to have been put on hold, it's arguable that being eaten alive would've been more humane than the alternative. Prince Julian to the rescue?

That was a long gap between pages, I'm gonna try to fix that.

Does anyone play Killing Floor? I think it's awesome. I've sort of had a falling out with RPGs and RPG-like games in recent years, owing largely to the fact that I just don't have the time to play 80-hour games (or in the case of MMOs... infinite-hour games), especially when something boring like level grinding is a fundamental part of the experience. But for some reason, grafting stat leveling onto an arcade-style first-person shooter speaks to me in a way that surprised me a little. Eliminating cross-hairs and requiring the iron sights for aiming makes everything so deliciously hectic. Not for everyone, but if you don't mind a little brutal difficulty...

Tearin' Through the Paper Walls of Time.


Episode 278 is now live! Life is tough when you're big, red and constantly hungry. There you are, just having lunch like a normal monster, when all of a sudden people with guns and funny hats start shouting at you and demanding you stop eating their colleagues. Of course, you'd like to simply ignore them and continue your meal in peace, but they're just not having any of it. You'd try explaining yourself between mouthfuls, but some things always seem to get lost in the translation...

I am now back in the Bay Area. I was in Santa Barbara for a few days doing a lot of food eating and wine drinking, both of which were extremely enjoyable. I have a weakness for beaches and all things delicious.

Noka sent in this cute pic featuring Ruby and her character Drilsa! Ruby has been temporarily bested in heavy lifting, although that's not a title she'll be relinquishing without a fight... consider the challenge accepted! Thanks again, miss!

Episode 277 has arrived! It's getting a little crowded in space jail, what with all the familiar faces returning. Keeping dangerous friends does have certain advantages, especially as far as the intimidation and coercion of giant alien creatures are concerned. Just keep an eye on your less-than-dangerous friends, Julian.

VaguelyCreepy made what I do believe is the first gift featuring Mr. Ghunnman! Lone is doing what he does best: shooting everything in the room. Thanks again, sir!

It's kind of nice to be doing this again.

Warm on the Inside.


Hello again, folks! Chapter 9 has begun for some reason. I know! I'm as shocked as you are, believe me. Julian is in a bit of a pickle, since he happens to look exactly like a snack. Is this the squishy end to a proud life? Or has a higher power answered Julian's collect call?

It's been a strange couple of months. I'm not really sure where my mind's been, but the odometer says I've put a few miles on. I've been keeping busy with introspection, brainstorming, falling in love, working pointless overtime hours, and madly chiseling away at an artistic block. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Unless you were impatient and decided to leave forever, in which case you're not actually reading this.

An oekaki happened while I was away. Don't peek at work!

With that, Episode 275, and this chapter's over! The prince seems to be a real alien monster magnet these days. While Pinky may have been handily dispatched with a well-placed remote control, this one may require even more finesse (and maybe a snack?). Don't be scared, Julian! It's just looking for a nosh.

Thanks for being patient, alla youse. The next chapter will be starting up pretty soon; I'm gonna try to build up a tiny reservoir of pages so updates can happen a little more regularly. In the meantime, I'm also gonna try to get at least a few oekaki going. Maybe some OHP stuff, too? Probably!

And thanks for reading! Check back again soon!

Without further ado, Episode 274; just one more page left in this chapter! Julian once again finds himself in free-fall after rubbing Commander Dhin the wrong way. And while hurtling downward through the darkness may be unpleasant for obvious reasons, what's waiting for him at the bottom might be even worse. Or maybe that's just where they store bones on Garritan vessels. It's a mystery!

A new oekaki was posted over at Fearsome, in case you haven't seen it already. BUT IS IT ART?

Anyone else played Zeno Clash? I'm crazy about this thing. It's like something straight out of Heavy Metal. Cool characters and wild art design... I wish more games were even half as creative. Looks like these dudes are even starting up a webcomic to fill in some of the blanks... awesome! I'm ready for more, ACE Team!

Episode 273 is up! Julian realizes a little too late that he might be in over his head. Rule Number One when dealing with mysterious masked men: don't be legally married to someone they hate. This is a good practice to keep in mind even when dealing with normal, run-of-the-mill people who might be trying to kill you. Just don't do it.

One of these days I'd like to wrap up a chapter without limping across the finish line. Will it ever happen? Truly a mystery for the ages.

Episode 272 went up, once again shocking the world! It's a thrill a minute around here, and you know there's no stopping once this roller coaster's in motion. This shit's about to get real. Don't go anywhere. I'm watching you.

An oekaki happened recently, which is also pretty shocking (not as much the subject matter as the fact that one happened at all). The subject is an old favorite, and for that I must apologize to S. Thanks for putting up with my bad habits, by the way! You have the patience of a saint.

I'm getting pretty terrible at consistent updates. I'm going to try to be more productive than usual this weekend.

No More Mr. Passive Resistance.


We rejoin the pink-maned prince in Episode 271, which is now (finally) up. And we also get a look at the Commander sans mood lighting for the first time! Will wonders never cease. This chapter is almost over!

I've been battling with a creative block for about two months, now. I think it may have become dislodged this past weekend. New episode next week, maybe? It'd be nice to finally get back to a regular schedule.

Damn My Luggage All to Hell!


Episode 270 is now ready for your consumption! While a de facto divorce maybe be a great reason to celebrate, the girls seem to have forgotten a certain somebody. You know, that Prince Somebody! This might call for a jump cut.

So like, Rin gave me this fantastic Ruby gift the other day! So fantastic and adorable, in fact, that it needed to be shared with all of you. Even her nail polish is adorable! Thanks again! You totally made my day.

Been playing Street Fighter IV on my breaks at work. I must admit, I was expecting something as technical as SF III, but the streamlined play style is not unwelcome (though focus attacks are gonna take some getting used to...). The graphical polish is impressive, without a doubt; the "oh shit" face characters make during the wind-up for an ultra combo they didn't quite block may be my new favorite Street Fighter Thing. I wish folks online would pick someone other than Akuma, though.

Maybe Next Time, Steve.


Comic time! Episode 269 is up. Ruby-in-Mai is force-fed a slice of humble pie, but emerges from the ordeal with friendship intact. With a ceasefire called, maybe everyone can get back to more pressing matters... like figuring out where the rest of the gang has disappeared to! But first, some unabashed gloating, reveling, and relishing.

I've been scribbling in some oekaki canvases. I'll try to get a picture or two done this week and next. So much for spacing them out by a year! Take THAT, predisposition to procrastination!

I'm obsessed with Mirror's Edge. I picked up the PC version earlier in the week because I wanted to see if I'd like it more with traditional KB&M controls and some snazzy PhysX effects thrown in. Like wow, man. No more deaths fighting with the analogue sticks! Now if I could just scrub away this dirty feeling I get from enjoying an EA game...

Have a Plan to Kill Everyone You Meet.


Happy 2009, gang! Episode 268 is the first comic of the new year, and although it's already pretty late in the month for a first comic of the new year, one of my resolutions is to get my shit together and start updating a little more regularly. Ruby's not really into the whole idea of apologies. She'll be the first to admit when she's wrong... as long as you understand that she's never wrong (just ask her). Maybe with a little leverage, though...

Thanks for being patient! For the first time in years, I present... Like Magic. Please be advised that this comic is not work safe at all. This series ran for 16 pages at Slipshine, a really great site for original adult comics, before disappearing into the aether... which is a fancy way of saying I totally ran out of time to work on it (sorry, Josh!). I have mixed feelings about these pages, because while the art is really spotty, I've grown sort of attached to Deidre, Roman and the universe in which they find themselves. It was 6 years ago, but some of the anatomy and proportions are just atrocious. I had some pretty grand plans for an epic porno story; I know a lot of people say that no-one wants a story in porn, but you know what? Fuck that. I do, and I know I'm not the only one! When I eventually get around to starting this thing up again, I'd like to use what I've learned from working on OHP to make it even better. But until then, these pages should keep me humble. Enjoy?

You Can't Run From the Law, Little Baby.


Happy holidays, everyone! It's the season for giving and all that, so here's a splash for the occasion. Even villains like getting gifts from time to time... as long as it's the right gift. Certain things just don't make for very good presents: socks, fruitcake, ornamental candles, and of course, eyepatches. Nothing says "Happy Holidays!" like a constant reminder that someone you hate smashed your eyeball. Bad empath!

In an unusual development, I actually made a new oekaki. OHP-themed, even! But it's naughty, so don't look at it if you're at work. Unless you happen to work somewhere porn is okay. Then, by all means!

I'm gonna try to have the next ep. up by the end of the coming weekend, since I've got a few days off. See you next year!

Oh, Unfathomable Firmament!


Home again, home again! Episode 267 is finally up, and the girls are once again safe and sound in their rental sanctuary. While Mai's eager to put Ruby on trial for her little stunt, Rika has already moved on to... greener pastures? Oh yeah, I went there.

Started on this year's holiday splash, which should be up this weekend. It's always tough deciding who to include in these things, because no matter how much we'd like them to, most aliens just don't give a shit about Earthling holidays. But even aliens like getting presents, and most of them also like getting hammered; combine the two, and they'll probably warm up to the whole affair. Julian and the villains have yet to make an appearance, so maybe I'll rectify that this time around!

Episode 266 is up, and they're off! The girls are down one purse and one jacket, but apparently up a couple of 'souvenirs'... This really hasn't been a good night for Ruby or the maître d'!

Holy fuck, where did 2008 go? This year flew by, and I've got nothing to show for it! Actually, that's not entirely true. I've been really happy with the art in OHP this year. My goal's been to push a much toonier style and shed a lot of the anime-inspired baggage. What's resulted is a weird hybrid of styles, often fluctuating wildly from panel to panel, but one that I'm enjoying a lot. There's nothing wrong with an Eastern influence, but these days I'm feeling that cartoons seem more alive with a more fluid approach to drawing. I've been on a Bakshi kick lately, so maybe he's to blame. Is anyone else freakin' excited about The Last Days of Coney Island, whenever it finally comes out?

I never thought I'd be pumped about a game coming out of EA ever again after my nine-month stretch at Redwood Shores, but I'll be damned if Mirror's Edge isn't totally amazing. Is this the dawn of a new age of puzzle-platforming? Don't be dissuaded by the lukewarm reviews this thing's getting, it's one of the most refreshing takes on first-person gaming since Portal (though definitely lacking some of its polish). Despite a short story mode, the core gameplay mechanics are so intuitive and so much fun in execution that the prospect of multiple play-throughs is actually sort of appealing. I think one of the worst things to happen to the game industry was when RPGs fooled people into believing that games needed to be more than 30 hours long in order to be good. I understand that with retail games costing 60 dollars a pop these days, people want more value for their money... but length is about as useful a measurement of "fun" as graphics. Play fun games because they're fun, not because they take a long time to finish!

Settin' Off Explosives on a Saturday Night.


OH LAWD, it's Episode 265! At long last, the poor girl is free! But is she thankful? Please. Ms. Maxim has priorities, and graciousness is near the bottom of the list. Besides, that's technically her jacket!

America had an historic election this month! I would like to extend a heart-felt "thank you" to voters for choosing progress over fear this time around. This country has come a long way in just a few decades, and it's clear that an interest in real social and economic change isn't fleeting. However, I'm more than a little disappointed with my home state of California for voting bigotry into the constitution. Shame on you. After the leaps and bounds made in civil rights for women and ethnic minorities over the past century, we deny another group of people their right to marry the people they love under the false pretense that we're protecting "family" and "the children"? It's incredibly disturbing that we, in this day and age, even entertain such hateful notions as being in any way defensible. The only thing being protected here is the treatment of gays and lesbians as second-class citizens. This is the 21st century, folks. Let's try to act like it!

Thanks for being patient! Here's Episode 264. All it took was a little brute force (mechanical elbow grease, if you will) to get this escape rolling! Perhaps a little less brute force would've yielded better results, but beggars can't be choosers. As luck would have it, a certain popsicle-in-training happens to be very close by.

I really appreciate you folks sticking with me these past few months. I know it's frustrating to have the story crawl like this. I figure this is preferable to letting work get the better of me like it did during the 2006 hiatus. I'm working hard to get the pages out a little faster every update, but it's been challenging. I hope you're still digging it.

I've been playing Mother 3 on my breaks at work. It's exciting to finally get the chance to jump back into the EarthBound universe, since Itoi has a knack for making extremely funny and weird games. This is also the first RPG I've played in years, because... who has time for RPGs anymore? 80-hour epics are just too much of a time-sink these days. It takes something really special to make me want to overcome that hurdle. I was surprised with how emotionally engaging it's been. Even though it's been said that this will be the last game in the Mother series, I hope he's still planning on doing other games. Even if it takes another 12 years.

Hello again, folks. Episode 263 has arrived and is now available for your viewing pleasure. Crisis temporarily averted, thanks to a bit of the old steam power! Surely just a little more elbow grease can solve a problem like this. Might want to light a fire under it though, girls; a friend of yours is still chilling out!

Hate falling into this bi-weekly routine, it really makes the story hit the breaks. Gonna try to put a move on it this week and get the ball rolling a little faster. You folks have the patience of saints, and I hear they are pretty patient people.

There are lots of fun looking games coming out soon and I don't have the time to play any of them!

No Disrespect, But That's How I Am.


For your consideration, Episode 262. What started off as an herbal adventure has suddenly found Mai and Rika on the business end of the law! And with Officer Friendly playing fast and loose with the rules, the girls had better find that Get Out of Jail Free card, and fast!

The update schedule continues to be a little spotty. I'm still pulling pretty long hours at the office; I wish I could say that my efforts there were not in vain, but with some of the titles we've been working on lately... yeesh. Makes me wish the days of the Dreamcast were still upon us. In an alternate universe, Sega still makes video games consoles! Not only that, but Sonic never went 3D.

I Want to Thank You, Loaded Gun.


Uh oh, it's Episode 261! Officer Friendly put his cards down on the table before Mai's plan gets the better of him. A night in the slammer seems to be looming, but there may still be a trick or two up those overcoat sleeves. Rika has lost her appetite for Chinese food for the moment.

I've been having my schedule at work flipped back, then forth, and finally back again for the past month, and it's been challenging trying to set aside time to draw. I think it'll be calming down from here on out, which will definitely help with maintaining a little more consistency in the update schedule. At least, I hope it will. A man can dream. On the plus side, I'm not working nights anymore.

Poor Waldo!


Ladies and gents, here is Episode 260! Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something, right? Rika flexes her peer pressure muscles on Mai, who's devised the perfect litmus test for Officer A-Little-Bit-Too-Friendly. The jig is up... or is it?

Over the past few weeks I've been going through my archives in an attempt to catch spelling mistakes, zap grammar disasters, and otherwise fix some minor inconsistencies like stray pixels, wrong colors, and the like. Despite my best efforts to break these perfectionist tendencies, they seem to be here to stay! I've made some minor updates to the first 16 pages of the comic; prior to establishing the visual "rules" for OHP, the speech bubbles were all drawn by hand... and looked terrible. Early comics suffered from some truly awful bubble placement and shapes, which made for a bunch of pretty ugly wall-of-text scenarios. These have been fixed, with a little polish on the dialogue tossed in for good measure. Have a look for yourself!

I haven't really played much of anything lately. But it's cool to see that Castle Crashers was apparently worth the wait! I've been a long-time advocate for the glorious return of the side-scrolling beat-'em-up.

Howdy, readers! Today I have for you an Episode 259! Officer Friendly decides to share the wealth, but Mai remains extremely skeptical. Rika, meanwhile, already knows which Chinese restaurant she wants to hit up on the way home.

Thanks for all that voting, folks! OHP was in the top ten for about a week and a half this month, which is totally awesome and completely unheard of... until now! The sleeping giants have awoken, of course, but we're still holding on to an extremely respectable 19th on the list. Keep fighting the good fight!

Bionic Commando: Rearmed finally came out! I never got very far in the original--mostly because I didn't own it and was completely terrible at it--but I still had some fond memories of the experience, and have been pretty psyched about the prospect of a ground-up remake. I was not disappointed. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that this is some of the best 2D platforming in years, and it's certainly at the top of the list for the 360. Not only that, but some serious 8-bit flavored beats to go along with it? Has real gaming finally made a comeback? If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up!

Oh dear, it's Episode 258! I don't have much to say this week, but thanks for being patient! Silly shit, inbound.

By the way, have you seen this freakin' sweet business? I do believe this is officially the first time OHP has broken the Top Ten! Let's not split hairs over the fact that everyone else probably has broken toplist links this month, this is for real. We're on top of the world, baby! Keep rockin' the vote!

Clearly, the Theory of Less is More.


Suddenly, Episode 257! Public shenanigans are generally frowned upon by The Man, which is something to take into consideration when manhandling your half-naked friends (even if you are trying to convince them that you got body-swapped with an alien). The more you know!

Sorry that the updates have been so sporadic lately! I'm still drawing the night away, but life has been extraordinarily busy and stressful lately. Hopefully that will stop soon, because I feel like I haven't slept in a month.

Evan Dahm, of Rice Boy fame, started a new comic called Order of Tales. Just in case you're into incredibly stylish and fantastical comics.

Teenage Monsters and Haunted Homes.


Better beware, there's an Episode 256 tonight. Ruby decides to play her newfound size advantage to expose Rika's weakness and get her to listen to reason. This, of course, involves shenanigans. But now that any remaining doubt has been cast aside, what's next? The answer probably involves more shenanigans.

As promised, a new oekaki happened over the Fourth of July weekend. The results were extremely patriotic and pornographic, as you can probably imagine. I was hoping to do another while I was off, but I ran out of time! Baby steps.

I would like Bionic Commando: Rearmed to come out right now, if not sooner.

And with that, Episode 255. Rika refuses to budge despite Mai's best efforts to prove her love of double fudge ripple... but Mai is not so easily dismissed! Looks like someone's gonna have to bring out the Big Guns.

Yahtzee posted a review of webcomics instead of games this week, which I found pretty funny. Oh, that man. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth commence!

American readers, have a good Fireworks Day! What better way to celebrate freedom than by drinking too much, eating too much, and watching things get shot into the sky and explode? The American dream, in a nutshell. Sorry for all the noise, Canada and Mexico! We'll be done partying by Saturday.

You Are We.


Hello again, folks. I've got a shiny new Episode 254 for you tonight. We rejoin the bodily-displaced Mai Yamamura for another round of Try to Convince Your Friend You're Actually Who You Say You Are! With Ruby temporarily on ice, this could be the break she needs to bring Rika up to speed. But it's never that simple, is it?

Holy crap, y'all. I'm getting four days off of work starting next week while Sega relocates to a new building a few blocks away. With any luck, I'll be able to use this time to a) relax, b) catch up on OHP, and c) draw some oekaki FOR REAL JESUS CHRIST CAN I GET FIVE MINUTES TO MYSELF SO I CAN DRAW SOME SMUT. In case you've been wondering, here's a list of some of the "fantastic" titles I've been working on lately: Condemned 2: Bloodshot, Universe at War: Earth Assault, Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk. SIGH.

Also, have any of you sent me e-mails with attachments? I discovered the other day that my spam blocker was painting with some pretty broad strokes, and I think some letters with things attached may have been accidentally flushed. It's been tweaked, so that shouldn't happen anymore. If you've been waiting for a response, just shoot me another e-mail. Thanks!

Cheer Up, You're Not Dead Yet.


Oh my goodness, it's Episode 253! Sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping for a punishment that was a little more... mammary. If it's any consolation, Mirabelle will be back at work tomorrow. She's a licensed professional and takes a lot of pride in her work.

I've been thinking about making some new banners for another OHP advertising blitz. They've worked really well in the past at getting fresh pairs of eyes in here, and the retention rate's been extremely decent. But at the same time, not being able to get these updates out in a timely fashion would be (and has been, in the past) extremely counter-productive. We still haven't quite bounced back from the hiatus readership slump, though, so a little ad-space might not be a bad idea anyway.

I never did beat the Xbox Ninja Gaiden, but Ninja Gaiden II is pretty sweet so far. Much easier, though...

I don't wanna make you good folks wait any longer for this page, so here's Episode 252! And you thought that joke was dead and buried! Ruby's probably gonna be wishing for her own parka pretty soon. I'm gonna go back in and clean this page up a little later tonight.

It's kind of exciting that the TF2 character overhauls are coming out at a steady pace. I was kinda hoping for a Soldier or Scout update, but Pyro works, too! Some more official maps would be nice, though.

Hello! This week it's a nice big splash featuring Ruby and her rotund new friend. Perhaps the alternate title for this piece should be, "Dude, Where's My Focal Point?"

I got this awesome gift the other day from Tam! Check out this Rika. Is that not totally sweet? She says FIE, BEGONE to lines, and they flee in every direction. I love seeing my gals and guys in different styles, so refreshing! Thanks again!

And thanks to everyone who wished me well last week. I've conquered the cold, or whatever it was, and I still have a few chunks of lung left that I didn't cough up. Hooray!

I have here an Episode 250 for you, hot off the grill. That seems like a nice round number! Bite-size, yet filling.

Right now I have the worst cold that I've had in years. It's like my ears and nose have been sewn shut, and someone hit me square in the ribs with a bowling ball. I think I need to just start wearing a SARS mask everywhere I go so that the world at large stops infecting me with its terrible diseases. Plus, that way I could draw some totally sweet shark teeth on it or something.

Rice Boy has ended! I was a little surprised with how quickly it wrapped up, but it was a suitably ambiguous conclusion to a strange little journey. If you've never read it, or haven't in a while, now would be an excellent time to catch up. It's rare to find a webcomic with such a unique visual style that's so thoroughly engaging.

Good gravy, it's Episode 249! A little good news for Rika, and some potentially bad news for Ruby, who may want to consider beating feet out the door. But maybe we've got the maitre d' figured all wrong...

I have a sneaking suspicion that moving back to weekend updates may be a little more difficult than I'd anticipated! Gonna try to really pound the canvas this week. Wish me luck.

Episode 248 is present and accounted for. Ruby finds herself in an increasingly sticky situation... and with the odds stacked against her in with the substitute body, a hasty retreat may be in order! So much for those brownie points with Rika!

Once again, thanks for being patient. Crunch time at the office, you know how that goes. Still haven't finished a new oekaki, but I aim to fix that.

Echochrome looks pretty amazing. I've been waiting for another good puzzle game to come out, and it looks like this should fit the bill nicely.

Behold, Episode 247! Never one to be satisfied by turning up empty-handed, Ruby tries to sweet talk her way in with less than perfect results. Given the circumstances, letting the maitre d' know exactly whose purse she was looking for might not have been the smartest move.

Thanks for hanging in there, folks! Next update should happen over the weekend like normal, or maybe not. I've been a busy little bee at work, and all I've got to show for it are bad games. There's no justice in the world. If there was, I'd be working on a new Jet Set Radio.

Maybe a new oekaki this week? I've been working on one for a while now, but it's a little boring. Maybe I'll jazz it up tonight for some cross-over action.

Relax, We've Got Him in a Box!


Hello again. Here's Episode 246 in all its glory. Ruby discovers she may have bitten off a bit more than she could chew with this ruse business! The maitre d's math skills prove that he's a force to be reckoned with... so what's her next move?

Happy, happy day! For a few months, I've been stuck with a busted graphics card. The cooling unit is apparently broken, which made it overheat and crash the whole system pretty fast if anything GPU-heavy was running (such as games!). This is apparently a known issue for these cards, and it was looking like the only solution was going to be buying another (possibly faulty, still very expensive) X1900 to replace it, since I'm on a Mac and our options are pretty limited. But lo and behold, the 8800 GTs that were previously only available for the very newest Mac Pros are now available for us "legacy" owners as well. Just in time for the TF2 update, hooray!

Episode 245 sneaks in under the radar! Undercover Ruby is about to go even deeper undercover... as long as she doesn't blow it with reckless chit-chat! Mai takes a hands-off approach for the time being.

Apologies for the post-weekend update. I apparently have a tradition of cocking up my taxes every year, this one being no exception. But at least this year I caught it before the deadline! No trips to the airport post office for me!

Also HOLY CRAP, Ikaruga finally dropped! I think that's quite possibly the only thing that could've torn me away from Brawl.

Heads up, gang! Episode 244 is on the scene! Rika tunes out and gets her priorities straight, with "staying out of police custody" being near the top of the list. Ruby continues to muscle in on Mai's social circle... but why?! The answer may shock you.

Hey, I really did oekaki last week! It's even safe for work... but not for the dead! Did you know that more than five people played the game he's from? I was as shocked as you are! Hopefully more (possibly less obscure) oekaki this week!

For some reason I've had a really good week. Not that I'm complaining!

Episode 243 has arrived, but there's funny business underfoot! Ruby's got something up her borrowed sleeves... but what?! Furthermore, how's Mai going to keep herself from looking like a raving lunatic?! Stay tuned!

I haven't made an oekaki in about a billion years. I'm going to try to do something about that in the near future. There's been lots of really cool, really NSFW stuff posted at Fearsome lately, by the way!

The Warrior Factory.


Folks, I come bearing Episode 242. Important body-swapping note: Do not engage dangerous criminals in verbal warfare while wearing someone else's skin! But a green-haired challenge has re-entered the equation... and with their options becoming slim, she may be the only one left who can help them!

I don't have all that much to say this week. So, see you next week!

The time has come for Episode 241! Queen has some plans of her own as far as the deal was concerned; no surprise there! But with their only leverage about to fly the coop, what are a couple of brain-swapped girls to do?!

It's been extremely difficult putting Brawl down. Though I think I might still prefer Melee's fast-paced play style (especially the wavedashing), the huge amount of new characters, items, and stages (stage builder!) definitely give Brawl the edge. The online mode's been a little disappointing though, mostly due to lag and the extremely frustrating limitations put on random matches with folks not in your friends list... but I suspect the latency issues will slowly improve as the hype dies down in the next few weeks. Nintendo, it's 2008; time to stop being afraid of the internet!

The trap is sprung in Episode 240! Rika is finally introduced to Queen, but it might have been a bad first impression. And what of Pepito and Zukie?! The plot thickens next week!

Any of you out there interested in setting up your own website? If you're tired of being hosted on community portals or you're a first-timer with ambitions, may I humbly suggest giving Dreamhost a shot? They'll hook you up with a free domain, and (for all intents and purposes) unlimited bandwidth and disk space for absurdly reasonable prices. And HEY, to sweeten the deal, if you sign up with the promo code DINGLEBOB, you'll get 20 bucks off any plan! This also happens to be a great way to support OHP, because referrals help pay for this site!

Oh god, you guys. Finally, Brawl is upon us! I fear for my social life and personal hygiene. However, they will not be sacrificed in vain! At least, that's what I'll be telling myself. Let the unlocking begin!

Computers are My Forté!


Ladies and gents, Episode 239 brings us back to Rika and the Sisters D'bo! Zukie is a firm believer in the notion of share and share alike, especially when it comes to family assets. Races inexperienced in K'baban culture are often disturbed by the enthusiasm to engage in nude discourse with in-laws; however, this earnestness shouldn't be mistaken for sexual depravity! We're talking about real family love, here.

It's probably time to give this site a little face lift. One thing I'd like to try to do is make the archive dynamic, rather than static. The back-catalogue of pages is nearing the 250 mark, and that's a lot of HTML files sitting in the root. I've heard that MoveableType tends to choke when set to dynamic publishing, though... so maybe I should leave the blogging and the comic posting separate for now. Seriously, though, it'd be really convenient to have the actual comic pages rendered on the fly. More on that later.

A new vertical shooter dropped on XBLA the other day! Triggerheart Exelica is pretty short, but god dang if it isn't fun. This has been a good couple of months for sh'mups on the 360! But seriously, where's my Ikaruga?

Once again, it's time for more OHP! Here's Episode 238, wherein Lanogan closes the gap with unexpected speed and precision, and Julian finds himself right back where he started. Where's the cavalry when you need 'em?!

I'm kind of glad the power stayed on so far this weekend so this could get posted. As anyone living in the Bay Area is probably aware, weather of any kind tends to make everything stop working. Let's hope this trend of things continuing to function despite drizzle continues!

Good lord, has anyone else seen Romero's Diary of the Dead? I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in a zombie movie. There seems to be a bandwagon right now where directors all want to try their hand at doing a first-person narrative, and while these efforts vary wildly in their effectiveness, some of them are total flops. I'd count this latest of-the-Dead chapter as one of those. What a heartbreaker! Something was lost in the transition to the anti-filmic. Please, sir, return to traditional narrative!

Episode 237 is ready to go! Julian makes a mad break for freedom, but unfortunately for him, Lanogan's interest in his prey has been piqued. This can't end well!

Thanks you all for your kind words and encouragement the past few weeks. I'm glad to see that interest in OHP is still running high! I like making it, of course, but it's always more fun when you folks are frothing for the next page. The eternal cock-tease!

More next week!

Hello again, everybody! Readers new and old, welcome! OHP has emerged from the ashes of hiatus once again, and as a result, the first page of Chapter 8 is now available for your viewing pleasure. Julian's situation, as usual, has gone from bad to worse. What's a handsome bounty hunter to do?! Find out next week!

A slight visual change for the the latest chapter. I wasn't incredibly happy with Dave Gibbons Lower as a screen font, since it's been looking a little ragged around the edges at the lower point sizes. I'm now using Comicrazy for my lettering, because it's a hell of a font and seems to hold up well with a variety of point sizes. It's a little bigger than I'm used to, but sometimes it's better to be frugal with your word-space! This is a comic, not a novel, after all!

I upgraded OHP's news delivery system to MT Open Source this past week. It seems to have solved my major gripe with the MT 4 suite, which is that it was slower than a turtle dipped in molasses in January. I can now publish the site without the whole process crashing and burning with error 500s due to script timeouts! Computers are fabulous.

I finally got myself a Wii so that I'm ready for Brawl when it hits the states in March. Can I just say that I haven't been this excited for a game coming out since Super Mario Bros. 3? It's like being a kid again! Someone at work imported the Japanese version to tide us all over till the state-side launch, and I can confirm that this thing really is as good as you're hoping for. No kidding. Also, it plays more like the 64 version than Melee, which is strange yet refreshing! Seeing how Melee's lasted us about seven years without online multiplayer and a stage builder, I can only imagine where this new one's gonna take us.

Optimum Conditions at the Top of the Tree.


Folks! Just a quick little splash update for the holiday season. Sorry I've been so quiet this past month, it's been pretty busy and I'm notoriously poor at managing my time. Work on the next chapter of OHP continues (no, it's not dead yet!). Please stay tuned!

This week I'm most likely going to be moving my oekaki artwork to it's own subdomain, to help keep it a little better organized and to keep it separate from the comic site. It seems weird to have a smut collection that dwarfs the comic section side by side! The comic's catching up in numbers, though.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday! Thanks for reading!

I Kick Ass for the Lord!


With Episode 235, we conclude Chapter 7! Lanogan prepares young Prince Julian for the business end of android philosophy! How will he make it out of this one, I ask you?! Stay tuned.

I must apologize for the break in my stride near the end, there. I'm going to recharge my batteries a little before starting up the next chapter. Chapter 8 will most likely kick off near the beginning of December, though a solid date will be posted in the next few days. During the break, I'd like to build up a small reservoir of pages again, since that worked out extremely well during the earlier part of 2007. Oekaki is on the itinerary, as well. I will keep you posted!

While you wait, I would highly recommend both Octopus Pie and Rice Boy, each of which are wonderful ways to lose half a day or more in Webcomix Land.

I Remember When I Lost My Mind.


Fresh off the presses, here's Episode 234! A certain stoic android returns to center stage to demonstrate what makes him so useful to Queen & Company. Could it be that asymmetrical hairdo?

Just in case you were wondering what exactly was going on with me last week, two grandparents suddenly had serious heart-related issues at the same time. Thankfully, both of them are real fighters and came out on top following a few rounds of surgery. Needless to say, I was a little preoccupied. Thanks for sticking with me, though!

All of sudden there is a veritable tidal wave of must-have media breaking over the rocks. Video games, movies, you name it. Where was all this stuff over the summer, I ask you?! My wallet can't take this kind of punishment! The holiday season isn't the only time of the year you're allowed to publish your shit, Video Game and Movie Industries!

Episode 233 is here! Julian's change of strategy tips the odds back in his favor, and leaves Pinky a little short of breath. He may have a lucrative career in softball waiting for him!

Does anyone have experience with tablet PCs? I've been thinking about investing in a laptop at some point in the (distant) future for comic-making on the go, and that seems like the most logical solution. Any anecdotal suggestions (either for or against) would be helpful. What I'm most interested in is the durability and accuracy of the drawing surface, though a nice laptop for general computing wouldn't be unwelcome, either.

As you may have guessed, I was lured in by the siren song of the Orange Box. So much awesome in just one little package! I can't believe I waited so long to play Half-Life 2. Much like its little brother, it really shines as one of the most cinematic shooters around... and yet it never really feels like you're being led by the hand. Now, if only Portal wasn't so short...

Ladies and gents, it's once again Comic Time. Episode 232 has arrived fashionably late! Never one to turn the other cheek, Pinky strikes back at our nimble and similarly-colored Prince. As usual, she's ready to meet the challenge head-on; or is that head-first? The battle continues next week!

Didn't get a chance to oekaki like I wanted, but on the bright side, I'm back to a normal work schedule this week, so maybe this time around. It's amazing what getting more than four hours of sleep every night will do for your outlook on life! I think what I need to do is just get out of video game QA entirely, because it's awful.

Speaking of awful, holy SHIT was Resident Evil 3 a stinker. Absolutely terrible! But at least this has been a zombie-movie-filled year (with more to come!). How often does THAT happen? The answer is, "not often enough".

Good grief, it's Episode 231! Pinky uses her head (albeit unwillingly) to solve Julian's little key problem. Thank goodness for conveniently placed conduits! I'll be cleaning this page up a little bit, since I had to rush some the coloring and effects to get it out in a reasonable amount of time. The good news is that I'll be returning to a (relatively) normal work schedule next week, which should eliminate these update delays. How's that sound? Hope I didn't scare too many of you off again!

You know what I've wanted to do the most during this last month of cubicle hell? Oekaki. Lemme see if I can bust out something completely not work safe before the next update.

I'm clearly in the minority of 360 owners who have no interest in Halo 3, but for the record: I didn't understand the fuss in 2001, and I still don't quite get it. What exactly is this game bringing to the table that hundreds of other first-person shooters haven't already? I'll admit that my hands-on experience with the series is limited to a few casual encounters with friends and coworkers, but I've yet to feel engaged by either its seven-year-spanning story or its oft-praised multiplayer. Am I missing something, here? Maybe I'm just expecting more from my sci-fi than "shoot the bad aliens that want to take over the universe".

Folks, Episode 230. Thanks for your patience! I'm gonna do my damnedest to have something ready for next weekend, come hell or high water. This chapter's almost over and it's driving me nuts not having the time to finish it off! I hope these pages are worth the wait.

This week I'm going to be upgrading OHP's back-end to MovableType 4, so things may get temporarily broken for a day or two. Fear not, internet adventurer! It'll probably be fixed before you know it.

The Brawl Dojo has confirmed that the New Smash will have online functionality! This is both good news and bad news. The good news is that you'll never have to leave your house! The bad news is that I'll probably never leave my house. We're approaching a laziness singularity with online gaming. What that means is that at some point in the not-so-distant future, our propensity for finding new ways to be lazy will increase at such an exponential rate that our gaming systems will use their advanced AI to find ways of being lazy without us. And probably also take over the world, if they ever get around to it.

Meanwhile, at the Palace of Power...


Episode 229 is now up for your viewing pleasure. These splash panels always seem like a good opportunity to get some full-figure shots in, since there's rarely enough space to do it on a normal page! Or maybe I just draw too big. I dunno!

This has been a rough work week. I got stuck with some overtime over the holiday, and from here on out, my shift's getting extended to 12 hours a day... indefinitely. Needless to say, that leaves me with exactly zero time to do anything except commute back and forth, and sleep. I'll do my best to get next week's page out over the weekend, but please bear with me if it goes up a little late. I appreciate the support!

Certain Victory Lotus Sutra Tune.


To round up this chapter, we're once again peeking in on Julian and his new pink and cuddly friend in Episode 228. Unfortunately, Julian's ace in the hole wasn't very foot-resistant, but he might be just a ping away from salvation!

So I guess OHP got POE-ed? I'm honored, or something! Got some free traffic out of it for a couple days, anyway. If you found your way here from over there, and find yourself inexplicably liking what you see, welcome! And I'm sorry.

What can I say about BioShock that hasn't been said by pretty much everyone? It takes all the best parts of shooters and RPGs, and crams 'em into one fantastic experience. It's the most fun I've had with a video game in a while.

Look, Mr. Bubbles! It's an Angel!


Thanks for being patient! Here's Episode 227. The truth comes out at last (in a sticky mess). Rika discovers she may have a deficiency in her knowledge of alien anatomy. Zukie may have done this on purpose.

I've been finding some great new webcomics the past few weeks. I'm gonna have to update the list, soon! If you're not already following it, you'd be doing yourself a favor if you started reading Rice Boy. Seriously!

Readers, I was so good. I didn't touch BioShock until the page was done! But now I've got some business to attend to with Big Daddy.

Duckbill, Watermole, Duckmole!


Episode 226 is going up in a Mostly Finished State! There are a few effects missing, which I'll be adding in later today. Rika’s mood has greatly improved, thanks to this unusual high. Pepito and Zukie seem to be enjoying it for other reasons, however! Oh, you bet I’m drawing this way out.

Chapter 7 is drawing to a close, but not before finishing on an appropriately unfinished note! It’s hard to believe that so many weeks have already passed since the hiatus. You know what they say about the flying habits of time, though. What I’d really like to do is start putting out two pages a week, so that we’d have more than two chapters a year. I'd really love to make a job out of this some day. I’m still scribbling out t-shirt ideas, but I’m having a hell of a time coming up with a design I’m happy with. For some reason, nothing I’ve made looks like a good t-shirt design. Maybe I’m thinking about this the wrong way. I’m gonna try some simpler designs this week. Thanks for being patient. With any luck, you’ll be able to wear some OHP in the near future.

What a crappy Sunday. Overtime and morning shift combine to form Sucktron. Sometimes I wish I was still a college boy, living in a magical fantasy land where I answered to no-one but Old Man Hunger. Times were simpler, mostly because I could just not show up if I wasn’t feeling it. Unfortunately, that stunt doesn’t transition quite as well in the real world. How unfair is that!

Girly came back, y'all! With a slightly different art style, format and color, to boot. I bet having more than just one thin column to do the strip is a lot easier! If you’re not already reading Girly, you need to fix that, pronto.

Oh my goodness, I can’t wait for BioShock. Finally, a retail 360 game to be excited about!

Ptah, the El Daoud.


It is now officially time for Episode 225. Suddenly, a tiny nuclear explosion of information in Rika's poor, human brain! Maybe we weren't cut out for antennae, but I think we might've gotten the short end of the stick.

I think my favorite night of the week has become Thursday. The local college radio station, KCSM, has a show called "All Out" from 10 at night until 2 in the morning that plays nothing but freeform, improvisational and experimental jazz. It's amazing to hear stuff like this on the radio.

Marathon on Live Arcade?! What a crazy world we live in! I can practically smell the 90s wafting out of my television screen.

Super-Power Robot Yokozuna, Jr.


A question is about to be answered in Episode 224. The truth may very well rock you to your core. Or maybe you saw it coming a mile away, you clever thing. At any rate, Rika is wondering whether or not some questions are better left unanswered!

This schedule seems to be working out pretty well for right now. I've got enough time to do my thing and not feel like I'm up against the wall. Also, work is going pretty well. Even the commute doesn't seem as bad as it used to, since it turns out the train makes for an excellent mobile nap.

I went and saw Sunshine the other day, which was a lot of fun. Reminiscent of some of the best parts of flicks like Alien and 2001, but still very much its own thing. One worth the ever-increasing price of the theater experience, sci-fi fans. Plus, you'll get to see a trailer for the new Cronenberg movie, Eastern Promises. It's like a non-denominational holiday in July!

It's that time once again, boys and girls! Episode 223 is ready and waiting for your strong, yet gentle touch. Those of you who guessed "coin purse", 50 points! Rika's still thinking it's the other kind of coin purse, though.

Once again, I appreciate your patience. This more lax schedule has alleviated quite a bit of stress, which is making the process go a little smoother. But for those of you who are freaking out about the change, I'd highly recommend you read the FAQ. The relevant question is four from the bottom.

Are there any good webcomic templates for Movable Type? For the life of me, I can't figure out how to syndicate the comic without making a separate comic feed, which like, totally defeats the simplicity of the current system. What would be ideal is a way to keep this layout essentially the same (or similar), but have both the comic page and the news show up in the feed. Is there a way to do that with MT tags? The bright idea well is running dry!

That's all for now!

Episode 222 is now ready for your consumption. Thanks for being patient! Your reward is an ulcer for Rika.

So you're not completely in the dark about when the comic is updating, I'd like to let you know that until further notice, OHP will be updating at some point every weekend. The comic's staying weekly, but I'd rather keep a floating update schedule to make things a little easier on me. I encourage you to subscribe to OHP's RSS feed so you can know the very second that I update. It's like having your own little internet gnome do all the hard work for you!

A gift arrived from Kohdok not too long ago! True to form, Rika is finding herself subjected to strange forces seemingly out of her control, only this time with 33% more crossover action! April is from his comic, For Your Eyes Only. Thanks again, sir!

The people I work with are crazy fucking good at Smash Bros., which I'm hoping will improve my game significantly. I considered myself an above-average player, but playing with a tournament-level crowd has ultimately humbled me. I pray Brawl will level the playing field a little!

The Indestructible Drop.


I have apparently overestimated my ability to maintain a comic-making schedule with this new job. However, I did finish a page, so here it is. I think I've figured out which days I can use to concentrate on the comic from here on out, but we're gonna have to play it by ear.

You've done a man's job, readers (girls, please feel free to substitute "woman"), even with last week's update hiccup! OHP is still in a holding pattern in the mid-thirties. Thanks for voting!

The other day I posted a rough version of a new Like Magic page as a little something to tide y'all over. That can still be found here. Totally safe for work, honest! Around the time that I switched resolutions for OHP, I also decided to see how LM would look with the same facelift. These two characters were just about to make their debut when the comic died, so hopefully it will eventually rise from the ashes, like some sort of smut phoenix.

I did a few new oekaki the last couple of weeks. The first one, which you most likely saw last week, was of Rika and Ruby, and oddly enough was not porn! The second one was most definitely porn, however, and happens to feature Sheila and her tail.

Hide and Seek in Geisha's Garden.


Once again, it's time to get your OHP on, so here's Episode 220. Four hundred bucks worth of stolen grub doesn't seem to be sitting well with poor Rika, who's now suddenly wishing she'd stayed at home tonight.

Keep fighting the good fight, y'all! We're still holding in the 30s!

A couple weeks ago I went to a show of Osamu Tezuka's work up in the city, and it was pretty awesome. I wasn't previously all that familiar with his work, aside from knowing the titles of his more famous comics (Astro Boy, Black Jack, etc.), but the exhibition was a real eye-opener. An incredibly unique art style, highly animated, and often featuring impressively complex layouts (despite the simple character designs). If you're local to San Francisco, this show is worth checking out for anyone who loves comic art. It made me a little remorseful that I'd missed the show of American comic art at the Hammer Museum while I was still living in Los Angeles.

I finally got some nibbles in the job hunt, so I may be getting back to work in the near future. Can't really say one way or the other how it's going to affect OHP's schedule, but both places seem like jobs that I might really enjoy (rather than immediately loathe). If there's one thing that experience has taught me, it's that a happy cartoonist makes better comics. Imagine that!

Bialy & Lox Conga.


Ladies and gentlemen, Episode 219. For those just joining us, Plan B is an oft-celebrated tradition wherein a particularly nasty problem is solved by completely avoiding it. It helps to have a sub-dermal teleporter or two, naturally, but that's never been a concern for Pepito and Zukie.

We're at 33 this week over at BCx! Keep up the good work, y'all!

Josh Lesnick, boy genius and wily cartoonist, wrote up a little number on art in popular webcomics over here. This sort of criticism is frequently dismissed in the community as everything from jealous ravings to declarations of war, but don't be fooled: not only is it valid, it's desperately needed. I'll be frank, here. Webcomic artists are a group of people who need a healthy dose of criticism at regular intervals, and if I had my druthers, I'd have that medicine come from a fellow cartoonist. I think people are finally starting to come around to this idea.

I'm generally a little embarrassed to say that I own way, way more Live Arcade titles than actual 360 titles (through no fault of my own, the 360 library proper still kinda blows). However, I can hide my shame when things like Pac-Man Championship Edition come out. This is the kind of thing I'd really love to see more of: not just shining up the old games and repackaging them, but rethinking them from a modern perspective.

Nude on the Moon.


The maître d' is having none of this in Episode 218! Once again, the jig is up. Rika's phobia of being seen in public with people aiming to pick a fight is a source of frequent discomfort these days.

We're still going strong in the Top 100 this week. Once again, thanks for the support! It feels like old times up in here.

Alright, I need to ask: What's going on with so many PSP games going out of print already? I feel like I missed the dang boat!

Good news, everyone! I have a working tablet pen once again.

Episode 217 is up, and definitely benefitting from the tablet touch. Rika verifies a previous claim, and Pepito neglects to use her Restaurant Voice. Meanwhile, Zukie supervises.

Lawdy, people! You've really been laying the smack down with this voting business! We're all the way up to 32 right now, and the month just started! I think this may be the highest OHP has ever ranked. Thanks for the support!

So I got one of them PSP things. I just couldn't hold out any longer, there's way too many games I need to play! Also, I'd like to state, for the record, that homebrew is the coolest thing that could've ever happened to this little gizmo. What other portable lets me listen to Drone Zone and Secret Agent from the comfort of anywhere?

Episode 216 has arrived! With a little encouragement, Rika finally gives in and tells Pepito what she's been dying to hear. All it took was three days and a little violence!

Folks, I'm gonna go ahead and announce that I'm switching updates to Fridays. I'm not having nearly as much time to draw on the weekends as I used to, and with my tablet pen still out of commission, I've been needing the extra days the last couple of weeks anyway. So keep coming back on Fridays, okay? My short hair is still here.

A new oekaki has been posted. As is generally the case, it's not work-safe. What a shock!

In closing, I'd like to thank you voters for voting! After spending months and months (and months) in toplist purgatory, OHP has finally reemerged into the Top 100! A new month is right around the corner, but if you keep voting every day, we can keep climbing the charts!

It's true, my tablet pen died. But despite it all, I was able to cobble together Episode 215. You never really know how reliant you've become on technology until that technology suddenly stops working! Unfortunately for Rika, this tablet disaster has only prolonged the sense of panic and discomfort setting in as she's reminded that she may have inadvertently married into a family of lunatics.

If you've tried posting (unsuccessfully) to Fearsome this week, it's now working properly again. The current version of Wacintaki and the new version of PHP apparently had a difference of opinion on the whole saving people's drawings thing, but they've since shaken hands and made up. Word on the street's that it's Porn Month over there... but, wait, when isn't it?

The reading list to your right (if you're reading this exciting entry from the site rather than the feed) has been updated with a bunch of new webcomics. All of them are awesome, but don't take my word for it! Become hooked.

Oh my GOD Ninja Gaiden is hard. I can't even tell if I'm going the right way half the time!

And now, for the thing I know many of you have probably been waiting for since the comic went on hiatus last year: the D'bos are back in Episode 214. Longest dinner ever, right? Real time don't mean nothin' in Comic World, sucka!

Also, Pepito's mutant healing factor has now been corrected.

This week I watched Aachi & Ssipak, which is a frenetically animated Korean sci-fi gem. The character designs are wonderfully quirky, and the art style incredibly fluid; if you're not shy about some naughty themes and scatological humor, it's great fun! Also, on the subject of awesome animation (with a rather moving story that lots of folks should be able to identify with), you definitely wouldn't want to miss Mind Game. The less said about it, the better. If you haven't seen it, do. I can't recommend it enough.

Is anybody else excited about Odin Sphere? It looks completely gorgeous! There's hope for 2D gaming yet!

Episode 213 wraps things up with Ruby, Mai and Queen... for now! What will next week have in store, I wonder?

An OHP LiveJournal feed was created! Now you can get your news updates delivered piping hot to your Friends page. Props to JeffreyAtW.

I went back and cleaned up the Comixpedia article a little since they've officially given the go-ahead to creators to add to their own articles (unlike Wikipedia). But where's the fun in that, eh? You can add to it, too, so please do! The current article was created almost entirely by folks like yourself, and has proven to be a decent read in its own right... but it does need some updating! Are you a bad enough dude?

Gears of War has been conquered on Insane mode. It's a hell of a game. Epic could've made another UT-style first person shooter around the concept, but instead went with something squad tactics-based and infinitely more fun (but still with that Unreal visual flare). It's still a shooter at its core, obviously, but it just goes to show you that even a little change can be good. Some of those Developers Who Should Not Be Named (but whose names rhyme with Pear Phoenix and Hegemonic Farts) should be taking notes. Next up on my To Play List: Panzer Dragoon Orta, Ninja Gaiden Black.

Ruby and Mai have a conflict of interests in Episode 212. Ruby is ready and raring to march Zukie and Pepito down the plank, but Mai is hesitant about sending these strange new friends to their certain doom. Did they really make the right decision?

As an unusual bonus to this week's comic, here's an alternate ending. The end result would have been the same on the following page, but the tone of the exchange was a little different (and much snarkier). I don't really have a place for these poses now, so I figured I'd share 'em for the hell of it! I'll bet you didn't know webcomics were DVDs now.

This is obviously old news at this point, but that Todd Goldman fellah sure is getting his big-ass bubble burst. Can I just say how awesome it is that the Internet is able to come together and unanimously right a wrong? Good on you, Internet!

Queen makes an offer that Ruby and Mai can't refuse in Episode 211; with their normality at stake, something's gotta give!

Grindhouse was everything I could have hoped for. I've been dying for a new zombie movie (it's my favorite horror genre, y'know!), and Planet Terror definitely delivers. Hooray for blood and guts! The soundtrack is basically Rodriguez channeling John Carpenter (for those of you that enjoy the musical stylings of Escape from New York, and the like). Death Proof was not as impressive in the music department, but just as enjoyable from a movie perspective. Definitely slower, but the payoff was worth the wait. If you like the kind of cinema that Tarantino and Rodriguez are aping here, you will not be disappointed.

I wish someone would make a high-quality arcade pad for the 360... or that X-Arcade would finally release an adapter for it. My one major gripe with this system is that the D-pad on the standard controllers blow. It's absolutely awful, one of the worst I've ever used, and it makes playing the Live Arcade games that use it for movement kind of a chore. Why does a controller that's otherwise wonderful have such a skanky D-pad? It don't make no sense!

Hello, Vinny. It's Your Uncle Bingo.


Howdy! Episode 210 has been posted, with something of a development! But things are never as simple as they seem...

On a lark, I went back and spruced up my ComicSpace page, which I promptly ignored almost immediately after setting it up. Bad GD! But, to give myself a little more incentive to visit more frequently, I pose the following offer: if there are any individual panels from OHP that you'd like to see a "clean" version of (i.e. without speech bubbles and text), I'll post them in a new comic gallery there. Nude panels are, unfortunately, off limits due to the TOS for the site. But just between you and me, there aren't actually any goodies hidden under the Strategically Placed Objects. That would just be silly!

It keeps getting harder and harder for me to resist the siren call of the PSP, especially when they do mean things like release system exclusives of some of my favorite series and lower the price to something that's actually affordable. Unfair, I say!

Man alive, I need to drum up some traffic around here.

An executive decision had to be made this week on whether or not to post a page that I really wasn't satisfied with... in the end, I decided to rework it rather than post it. I am much more happy with the result, which is Episode 209. I also accidentally drew the wrong accessories on Queen's outfit in the last panel of the previous page... that'll be fixed later today. Whoops!

Man oh man, I really hope that when Photoshop CS3 ships on the 20th of this month, Adobe fixes some of the show-stoppers like ridiculous memory leaks and disappearing cursors. I really, really want a universal binary for Photoshop, because CS2 is more than a little gimpy when it's running under emulation. Please, Adobe, fix your busted program.

Metal Slug Anthology came out for PS2, finally! It's kind of buggy, but WOW is it nice to be able to play Metal Slug 6 finally. It feels more like what 4 and 5 should have been, though it is kinda sad to see the slide taken out... I guess I'm officially spoiled on next-gen, though, because I keep thinking to myself, "Dang, I wonder if I unlocked any Achievements yet." So, uh... 360 version next?

Now that the server seems to be back up again...

Hello! Here's Episode 208. You didn't think she was gonna keep a low profile forever, now did you? She's got some new duds this time around; there's no such thing as having too much fighting attire in your warbrode. Battle leathers are the new black, after all!

I finally sorted out the problem I was having with my replacement tablet. The sensorboard and controller unit in the first one were apparently faulty; after some telephone tag with Wacom and a week or two of waiting, all is well again. A happy tablet makes happy comics.

You've been a very quiet audience the past few weeks!

Once again, Comic Time has arrived. Episode 207! You may want to take a glance back at one-eleven if this stand-off has you a little puzzled. To be fair, that was definitely three years ago!

A new oekaki has been added to the gallery. As is generally the case, it's not safe for work. You know the drill by now!

Symphony of the Night came out on Live Arcade today! This is a pretty awesome development, since it's arguably one of the better Castlevania games. However, I would like to voice great disappointment in the severe lack of real "Achievements". Why do game developers on the 360 keep doing this? Achievements should be something challenging. You shouldn't just get them for progressing through the game, you're gonna do that anyway. They had an absolutely gigantic title to work with and all they could come up with were 12 Achievements, one of which involves beating the first boss? That's fucking lame. What about rare drops? What about going out of sequence? What about more stuff that you'd actually want to boast about after doing it?

I hope when Ikaruga comes out, Treasure does a little better at this.

Here is Episode 206! Mai is simply not the kind of person to let sleeping dogs lie. Ruby might once again be forced to learn the hard way that one way or another, Mai's getting the last word in. It's her specialty!

Psiweapon made a real cute gift last week! Pepito reassures the crowd with a toothy smile that yes, she does too have eyes. They're just well hidden. Thanks again!

NARGH, Metal Slug Anthology got pushed back again! Quit toying with my emotions, SNK Playmore! GD NEEDS GAME BADLY. In other news, I got my Frank to Level 50 in Dead Rising, finally. I hope that rumor about online multiplayer support once the Platinum Hits version comes out is true, because... well, I think you know why.

300 was pretty awesome. Historically accurate? Not exactly, but extremely stylish, and extremely fun to watch. These Frank Miller comic book movies keep raising the bar, but no-one else seems to want to take notice. Is it really asking so much for comic book movies to be more than mostly cliché Marvel shit? Because damnit, I'm asking.

Once again it's GO TIME in OHP Land, so here's Episode 205! Mai discovers what most other races have known about the Moloki body for eons: its tolerance for alcohol is legendary. Unfortunately, Ruby is not currently in a sharing mood. Uh oh!

I'm drawing new comic pages for something I haven't touched in four years. It feels... awesome. More on that soon, hopefully.

This is a short news post because I'm exhausted. Thanks to everyone who suggested ideas for possible t-shirt designs last week! If y'all have any more rattling around in the old Think Tank, leave a comment and let me know!

What's in the Bag, Man?


We haven't heard from either of these two ladies in a while, so we're dropping in on them for a little bit in Episode 204! The next time you're stuck in someone else's body, be mindful that your host might not be as much of a lush as you are! More on Pinky and Julian later.

So it's come to my attention that there might be some interest in OHP t-shirts. If so, things could be arranged! We tried once before a while ago, but the amount of the response was pretty low. If you think you'd be willing to wave the OHP flag (y'know, for real money), leave some comments! Anything would be helpful for gauging interest: character preferences, colors, what-have-you. Talk to me!

My e-mail server seems to be completely messed up lately. It's really annoying! If you've written me and I haven't responded, I might not have gotten it. Sorry! Try it again or leave me a PM on the forum. I'm hoping to have this ironed out pronto.

Oh god, did you hear that Alien Hominid HD is coming to the Live Arcade today? Finally, something worth downloading! Now, if only those rumors of Symphony of the Night and Ikaruga hold true (and like, become available next week and the week after that), we'll be SET. Oh and uh, the Behemoth? We're still waiting for Castle Crashers.

Speaking of awesome games, the Metal Slug Anthology comes out for PS2 and PSP in a couple days. All is well in the Land of Gaming... for now.

We Cheat and We Lie (Boys Will Be Boys).


It's time for another new Episode! If brute force won't stop her, what will? Next week, a little change of pace.

The tablet problem has been sorted out! Thanks for the helpful tips, y'all. I was getting worried that I'd bought a lemon, but all it needed was a little kick in the software. These things are finicky! I've really been wanting to do some oekaki lately (especially with a new tablet to break in), but my desire to draw smut has been close to nil these days. I dunno what it is. Where'd my libido go? (Answer: Jamaican holiday)

T-Minus 2 days and counting until Operation: EA comes to an end. Not looking forward to job hunting again, but such is the nature of the contractor. On the plus side, I've not been real happy where I'm working, so this is good incentive to find a better job ASAP. Times like this make me wish there was some way to make a living off of OHP. Oh, to be Internet Famous!

Closencounters just had a site redesign, so now's a good time to start reading if you've never checked it out. It's a cute sci-fi print comic that's being translated into (broken, but readable) English for the Web. Plenty of ample-chested alien girlies and roommate-type tomfoolery... no wonder I like it so much!

Readers! It's that time of the week again. Episode 202! Julian isn't ready to go down without a fight, and if there's a way to get out of this situation alive, he's got a good chance of finding it. Did you know that Julian is the scrappiest bounty hunter in the known universe? It's true!

I'm having an annoying problem with my tablet. The cursor has gotten the jitters, and it seems especially bad when set to relative mode. I know that tablets are adversely affected by magnetic fields (like monitors and speakers), and I do have a subwoofer under my desk, but I can't seem to get it to stop even if I move it across the room. Anybody know any good tricks to get the darn thing to calm down?

Good lord I have been so tired the past month. Make the overtime stop!

Sheep May Safely Graze.


Julian has, rather unfortunately, grossly underestimated little Pinky. With nowhere left to run and a bloodthirsty munchkin eager to paint the airlock with his guts, what's a handsome bounty hunting prince to do?! The answer is forthcoming.

I'm getting laid off in a couple weeks. Frankly, I couldn't be happier. It saves me the trouble of having to quit. I'll have a full report for y'all once the deal is done, and you'll get a glimpse into the wild and wacky world of video game development. The truth may shock you.

It seems like a billion webcomix I used to read died or went on indefinite hold along with OHP in 2006. What the nuts happened? What an awful year. Everyone had better come back in 2007, or I'll be a sad panda.

Oh my goodness, this is Episode 200! Two hundreds pages of comics, folks. I know that as far as webcomix go, that's generally not terribly impressive... but damn, does it make me feel good. We fell just short before the hiatus, and times seemed grim... but now I feel like the cosmic order of things has ultimately been righted.

There's a new gift to celebrate! Red Number Nine made a super cute pic of Anya and Pinky (Pinky might now have the Fastest Fanart for a New Character award!) to commemorate OHP's return. Thanks again!

Fantastic things are happening in fighting anime these days! Did you know that there's a new series of Fist of the North Star movies coming out? Each one centers around a different character in the FOTNS universe, and they seem to jump around the entire storyline... the first one, featuring everybody's favorite renegade asshole martial artist with aspirations of world domination, just recently hit stores in Japan... and has been fansubbed over here. Also, trailers have been posted... for a new JoJo movie, based on the first series! You know you want to see Zepelli punch a rock through a frog. Check the Special section for Awesome.

That's all the exciting news I have for now. Until next time!

You Won't Believe What Mr. Stitches Saw.


Once again, it's time for another episode. This week: 199. You didn't really think fighting fair meant doing things yourself, did you? We have a new face joining us this time: she's housebroken, affectionate, and healthy, but not too good around children. She can get a little violent if she has to compete for attention.

The RSS feed doesn't seem to be updating correctly. Is anyone having problems getting it to load new articles in their reader?

Now, you might be thinking that since this is a sci-fi comic, I might be somewhat interested in science fiction. This would be most astute of you, and it should therefore surprise you very little that I recommend seeing Children of Men. It's so rare to get good sci-fi drama at the movies these days.

Till next week!

I've Covered Wars, You Know.


Incoming Episode 198! Those of you reading for the chicks will be glad to see who's back.

The art section has been updated. Nothing new, but the wallpapers can now be found in one convenient place. I recently found one of my sketchbooks from college with a bunch of random cartoons for some project I was doing. I'll do some scanning this week.

My mood and general sense of well-being have both improved since I started up the comic again. For better or worse, I guess that means I'm in this cartooning thing for the long haul. Working at EA is still driving me nuts, but this keeps me sane. Actually, no. Not sane, happy. To hell with sane, that shit's for the birds.

Hahah! Noses on Dowels.


Hello again! I've got Episode 197 for you right here.

I'll be making my annual trip to the Moscone Center later today for MacWorld. It hasn't been very good in recent years in terms of crazy swag, but it's always a decent way to kill half a day and occasionally buy toys for slight discounts. Plus, I get to play hooky from work, which is always good.

Dead Rising continues to be super fun. But GOODNESS is that text tiny. It sucks when game developers make HD games that don't play nice with standard TVs. Not all of us can afford HDTVs, guys! Give us a break.

That's all for now. I'll be updating the site with some things I did last year that I never got around to uploading.

Wendy, Darling, Light of My Life...


I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna post Episode 196.

Happy New Year, folks! Personally, I'm glad to see 2006 come to an end. It was not the best year of my life, and from the sound of it, a lot of you had a similar problem. I'm hopeful that 2007 will be a much more productive and pleasant year for everyone.

I'm really enjoying Dead Rising, but I'm not very good at it. I'm something of a Romero fan, so playing this thing is tapping into the very center of my Zombie Pleasure Node. Honestly, though, it makes me wonder what'd happen if Romero himself were to direct a survival horror game. Would it be awesome? Would his artistic oeuvre, as it were, hold up as an interactive experience? These are questions that game developers should be asking and pursuing. He practically invented the zombie, for fuck's sake. Get this man on the payroll.

Y'all were pretty quiet last week! I didn't scare you off, did I?

Happy Holidays, all! Hope the season's been good to you, and all that. I come bearing gifts, in the form of Page 195. Espionage action is a GO.

A couple weeks back I jumped onboard over at ComicSpace, which seems to have gotten off to a quick start. I'm normally not too big on the gigantic networking sites, but I figure one centering around comics and webcomics might be worth a shot. I am, as they say, all up in that.

Did you know that the second season of Twin Peaks is finally coming out on DVD here? I am so excited. I hope they decide to do a reprint of the first season (with the pilot this time) to commemorate the occasion. That would be marvelous.

Speaking of marvelous, I hope you went and saw the new Bond movie. It's really good. Mads Mikkelsen is a perfect pick for a Bond villain... Better than Orson Welles or Peter Lorre as Le Chiffre? Maybe not, but he's so well-cast here that he definitely gives them a run for their money. Daniel Craig ranks up there as one of the Better Bonds; Sir Connery still holds the crown for Best All-Around, but Mr. Craig has definitely got something going with this rugged, rough-and-tumble angle. Parkour chase? Yes, please. Here's hoping he sticks around for a few more.

That's all for now. See you next week!


Eight months have passed since Our Home Planet got stuck in Hiatus World, but those days are finally at an end. Besides, what happens in Hiatus World stays in Hiatus World.

I have to say that I'm really happy to see the excitement over OHP's return. I wasn't exactly sure what the reaction was gonna be, but it's been quite positive so far! I'll do my best to make it worth your while.

Haven't been up to a whole lot outside of work... though, a good portion of my video gaming has been occupied with God Hand, which is, in a word, jawsome. Not for everybody, but the diehard fighting anime fan who's not afraid of a (steep) challenge is in for a treat. Clover had a knack for making games that are ridiculously difficult to put down, and this one has been no exception. Plus, all of the ladies have Jiggle Factor 11, which never gets old if you like your ladies jiggly. I know I do.

I'll keep this one pretty brief. To readers new and old, thanks for visiting! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Hey gang!

OHP is coming back on December 20th. I'm sharing my birthday with all y'all. Come celebrate with me next week!

While I was away, three wallpaper-type things happened; there's an Anya, a Queen, and even a Ruby! Gendaru even made super hi-rez versions of the first two (Anya here, and Queen here). How hot is that?

See you soon!

And so, after the longest yard of the home stretch, the latest chapter of OHP comes to a close. Good lord, a hundred and ninety-three pages! This here comic is getting thick. Looking back on it now, it's really something to see the marked progression in drawing style and character personalities. It's been four years, now! I guess that's bound to happen.

Normally when we reach the end of a chapter, I take a break for two weeks. However, since I've finally landed a job (hooray!), I'm going to be putting the comic on hiatus for the time being... at least until I adjust to my new schedule. It's good timing, really, since I start this Monday. I'm not exactly sure yet when OHP will be resuming, but the break will give me time to catch up on a bunch of things, such as finishing the tarot project, and redesigning the site. It may end up being a surprise when it starts up again, but I'll make note near the top when it's nearing GO TIME.

A cute gift came in last week! Itamiko presents us with an adorable scene featuring OHP's alien cast enjoying a day at the beach. Pepito is, of course, acrobatic enough to take on both Julian and Ruby at volleyball. Thanks again!

I've restarted my FurAffinity account, since it looks like they've finally laid all those nasty server problems to rest. Thank goodness! I've been jonesing for some community gallery action lately, so it couldn't have happened at a better time.

If you're looking for something neat to read a couple times a week, check out A Dog's Life. It's a collection of really simple vignettes that always seem to hit all the right chords. Good stuff!

As usual, I'll be floating around in forum limbo if you'd like to pop in. Should any fan art come in during the hiatus, I will most definitely update accordingly!

Anyway, that's enough jibber jabber. Thanks for reading!

There's Some Kinda Magic Inside You.


Here's the latest page! The end of the chapter draws near! Once again, I abstain from the April Fools Day shenanigans. Oh, I've got ideas, sure... but there's something about the day in general that bugs me. Since I'm sure I'm not the only one, consider this a loving embrace in the face of adversity. Also, where is everyone? It's quiet as hell around here lately. ;A;

If anybody's feeling ambitious, the OHP Comixpedia article could use a good dusting and polishing! You don't have to go by the official cast page, but it's a good guide for getting started. Minor characters are fair game, too!

OHP's been slowly climbing the ranks at BCx! Thank you for voting, those of you voting! If you'd like to get in on the hustle-OHP-to-the-top action, vote every day!

April's a fantastic month for horror movies this year. Naturally, everyone's waiting with bated breath for Silent Hill, but while you're salivating and fidgeting, you should definitely go and see Slither (from the same guy who brought you the unexpectedly great Dawn of the Dead remake). The marketing for this poor thing was practically nonexistent, but don't let it get swept under the rug: if you love goofy horror in the style of Evil Dead and Shaun of the Dead, Slither won't disappoint. Rarely is the going rate for a movie ticket worth the hassle these days, but I dare say the cost here is completely justifiable. I wouldn't be surprised if James Gunn became the next George Romero.

Tranquility 6 came out a few days ago. I've been a long-time fan of TQ, but I've got to admit... this latest installment sucks. Pop-in? And shooting? For fuck's sake, guys. That's not why I started playing. If I want to shoot things, I'll play a first person shooter, thank you.

And last but not least, I've finally got an interview lined up. It's not an art job like I'd hoped, but it'll be money in the meanwhile. Wish me luck!

Ladies and gents, a comic! Former King Julian's not quite as suave and silver-tongued as he used to be, but he's definitely still got the Volnoch blood running through his veins. Occasionally, when no-one else is around, Julian Sr. likes to try on his old adventuring wardrobe (most of which is about three sizes too small now).

Not a whole lot going on. I'm currently on Time Crisis kick, sparked by a chance encounter with a Quick & Crash machine after months of having hung up my lightgun. There just aren't very many good shooters coming out anymore, which is sad. I would like, in no particular order, for the following to come out soon: a new Time Crisis, a new Point Blank, and maybe a home version of House of the Dead 4. Get cracking, game industry!

After several months of OHP floating around the tail end of BCx, I figure it couldn't hurt to re-ignite the voting flame. For the month of April, you should vote every day! Let's see how high OHP can go! I think the current goal to beat is somewhere in the low forties!

Oh, and for those who were wondering, I do in fact have an e-mail address. For some reason, I totally forgot to include it anywhere on the site after the redesign. It can be found over to the right, if you're reading from the actual page. RSS readers, I don't know what to tell you! But keep doing what you're doing.

It's Either You or Them.


For whatever reason, I've been feeling more compelled to do big, splashy panels since making the resolution switch. Bigger does tend to be better (though there are exceptions to that rule). But anyway, here's some grounding for folks that might be new to the comic and wondering whether or not Julian really is a prince of anything (he most definitely is).

My project this week is to finish cramming an apartment's worth of stuff into a bedroom. So far, this isn't working too well. I need to find another apartment once I've got some bread again.

Still trying to find some steady income, still living off of the occasional odd job. As I was going through the site code and cleaning up some scruffy bits, I noticed that my Dreamhost referral links were a little outdated... so I fixed them (since they do generate some income for me). I've already done my Dreamhost sales pitch about a hundred times, but if you're looking for ridiculous value, reliability, and customer service, it doesn't get much better than these guys. Check 'em out! Their lowest level plan is 10 bucks a month, and they give you a terabyte of bandwidth, now. A goddamn terabyte. I dare you to try and use that much bandwidth (without doing something illegal and/or naughty)!

Also, are you guys reading Achewood lately? Because you should be. It's been getting more and more epic with every update.

Writhe in My Cage of Torment, My Friend.


To round off this chapter, we rejoin Julian back in the heart of the mercenary scout ship, where the stealth mission continues! Is this where the tables turn back in the favor of good?!

Apologies for the delay in getting the latest page up, there was a bit of foot-related nastiness that needed taking care of in an immediate fashion. My big toe is currently packed in gauze, and there's a dull, throbbing pain coming from where the medical magic took place, but I'm feeling better than I did before I went in to get it checked. It'll be nice to be able to wear shoes again after this is all healed up!

I just realized that I've forgotten about the forum for like... two weeks. Eek! I'll catch up on things there tomorrow, though I'm wondering lately if having a comic forum is redundant with the comment box here, especially since it's less convenient than just posting right here. I'll decide on that shortly!

I finally beat Gradius V, by the way! I thought it'd never happen. Now I need another good shooter. Actually, maybe I'll try to beat R-Type Final now.

Poor Rika's imagination is doing some serious overtime today. Get that girl another drink, stat!

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find high-resolution album art for tagging your MP3s? I've been going through my library and adding the art as I find it, but a bunch of my stuff is on the foreign side, and for whatever reason, the Intertron does not contain a very high volume of foreign album art at a decent rez. Amazon's worked in a pinch, but their pictures are so grainy most of the time that I don't even bother. Sigh!

Speaking of, would anyone happen to know where I could find a new copy of the Einhänder soundtrack? It's one of my favorites, but my copy has become completely fucked up after a cleaning device scratched it all to hell, and it refuses to play without skipping. It's also totally out of print. The thanks would be powerful.

We Were Laughing at a Pigeon.


Hello again, internet! I'll admit, this week's page doesn't really say one way or the other what the D'bos are... but it answers a few questions as to what they're not! Oh, I am such a TEASE.

There were a bunch of cool gifts the last couple of weeks! Thanks again to lavalizard, Gabo, and Rapps for a wonderful combination of cute, sexy, and awesome. You guys rock!

This week I'm hoping to knock off a couple more of those tarot cards. It's slow-going, but they really are turning out well. I'm exceedingly happy with them, which tends to be rare with me, being the perfectionist type.

We seem to have hit a lull in good video gaming, again. These droughts are becoming more and more frequent, I've noticed... I'm starting to wonder if this is a bad sign for console gaming, or if I'm just turning into an old man. We really need a new Smash Bros. right now, at any rate, and Little Mac had better be in it.

Okay, maybe I really just want a new Punch-Out game.

Hey Sandy! Does Your Dog Bite?


Hey now! How's that! This resolution switch really is working out fantastically. Not only do I have enough time in the week to do a comic, but I also have time to do other things, as well! I feel like a new man. As for the comic... let the speculation begin! All your perverse questions will probably be answered in the next episode. Maybe.

I'm supplementing myself with income from odd jobs, but I really need to find a real one soon. Being broke kinda sucks!

Holy wow, mail sure piles up fast. Back to the front lines for me! I'll hopefully be finishing off the last of the backlog this week. Those of you who've written in, thanks for being patient!

I was gonna wait until Tuesday to update, but I figure that the current update pattern is already so irregular that there's really no sense in waiting. So hey, Sunday update! You may notice that the comic looks a bit different this week. This latest page was produced in about half the time that it normally takes me, which I think is as good a reason as any to make the switch. I'm still feeling my way around making a comic at print rez, and I'm most likely gonna have to switch fonts again (because Chinacat is definitely not cutting it as a screen font, even though it looks great in print The font's now been swapped.), but the whole process has suddenly become a lot more enjoyable. Refreshing, even!

I've also given the site a complete overhaul, utilizing the MoveableType engine to a much greater degree. Before, I was barely scratching the surface with it and was essentially just using it for the front page... but now, the news archives use it as their backbone. One of the neat things about this that you can now search the news archives for keywords (like "oekaki") and other things. Not that I say anything particularly interesting most of the time, but hey. That's technology for you. I've also fixed a long-standing issue with links from the news archives turning up 404s. All that's left to do is get comic syndication into the RSS feed automatically every week, and we're SET.

I'm still crazy behind on mail, so I'm gonna get back to that. Hope y'all enjoy the new look!

Well, practically three weeks have gone by since the last update. Turns out the block wasn't quite ready to be overcome, but I'll be honest about some of the reason behind it. First, here's the latest page.

As of the last couple weeks, I've been stressing about the comic and how it's going to evolve with competing aspects of my life, and my career especially. What I've decided is that, most likely, the presentation of OHP is going to change (if you've been following my journal, then you're already aware of the angst involved around the subject). While I love making a pixel-based comic, it's an extremely time-intensive undertaking that is rather drastically affected by a plethora of factors (my mood, solar flares, etc.). I just don't have the time to do this anymore. As is, it takes over the majority of my waking life, and I know it's only a matter of time before this starts making me extremely unhappy. Thing is, I love making OHP.

The solution? A more traditional style of digital illustration, at print resolution. As the artists among you may know, drawing at print resolution is a whole lot easier than drawing at screen resolution, since resizing tends to hide most (if not all) technical mistakes. The only downside to this change is that OHP will cease to be a pixel-based comic... the upside is that it should come out a lot faster, possibly even multiple updates a week once I build up some momentum. It'll take a week or two of adjustment, however, since I'll need to pick more appropriate fonts, create new speech bubble templates, and a few other things. This may be a little jarring at first, but it's a good thing. At least, it sounds good on paper. So hey!

There's been some swanky fan-art the past couple of weeks, so I'll get to updating and replying!

Now Key Her Up, and Throw Away the Lock!


I've got a creative block like nobody's business. No reason in particular, as far as I can tell, it just came out of nowhere. I think I'm getting over it, but damn, that's annoying. Probably for you, too. I made this comic, though, just for you. Don't say I never did anything for you!

I've decided that one of my projects, now that I'm graduated and I've got all my smartz, is to really polish this site up so that it'll be the pinnacle of my professional portfolio. I'm nerding out and buying myself an O'Reilly book on PHP, teaching myself how to use it properly, and whipping OHP's site into shape. It will happen. I have a tendency to let stuff like this fall by the wayside, but this is one of those things that I really need to do if I plan on being serious about making a career out of this sort of thing. Let the chaos begin!

The OHP World Domination Map is some 200 strong, now!

I Can't Control My Feet.


Hope you all had a happy holiday season! I know lots of folks get depressed and sour around this time of the year, but I honestly love it. Not only is my birthday wedged in there, but it's the perfect excuse to be completely 'faced and merry with friends and family for about two solid weeks. Pepito and Zukie are here to try and spread some of that holiday cheer like only they know how; if only Ruby could appreciate their generosity!

Story resumes next week. See you then!

P.S. The OHP World Domination Map continues to grow!

A House on Fire and Massacres All Over.


My goodness, a really late one this week! Here it is, though. The aliens have been finding out the hard way that Mai always gets the last laugh. Ruby sort of lucked out, actually, since there weren't any liquids involved this time around!

Beat Takeshi's version of Zatoichi has a goddamn amazing soundtrack, by the way. Just saying.

The Frappr! map has gotten pretty big! That's so neat.

Dang, man. It's been a while since I updated last. I hate when that happens. The move went well, and my birthday went well; things are pretty much well across the board (thanks again to all you well-wishers). Unpacking's been taking forever, though, and finding all the pieces of my Computational Device took a couple of days, but OHP Base Camp is now operational once again. So, here's the latest page!

Three totally rad gifts since the last update! From Doodle-kun, Julian is sporting his very best lady impression; from Cheezy, a neat sketch of Ruby doing what she does best (act sexy); and from Zammie, a positively delicious pic of Pepito looking completely freaking adorable. Thanks again, you guys! You made my birthday awesome.

I updated the art section to include my newest piece, The Eel Hunters. This is a poster-sized digital image, which was actually printed at roughly movie poster size. It was created for my final college course, a really underwhelming drawing class that actually wasn't a drawing class at all, but more of a mixed media goof-off studio (read: "bullshit"). Despite that, lots of interesting work seemed to be coming out of it. Making a poster was really fun, and I've been sorta inspired to make an OHP poster as a result.

Hope y'all are having a happy holiday season!

My Name is a Killing Word.


Greetings this week come from the surface of Planet Earth, where we resume our story with Mai and Ruby, who seem to have differing opinions on the whole having-sex-using-someone-else's-body thing. I can't even tell you how many times this debate comes up in my daily life.

I've started up an OHP Frappr! group, which is a neat little thing based on Google Local that shows where people all over the world with similar interests are located. Add yourself to the map, and watch it grow!

Early warning: I am moving back to the Bay Area this coming weekend, so all bets are off for when the next comic will be posted. I'll keep you updated as usual, but I am anticipating having a complete lack of free time for anything other than packing and driving (if my previous moves were any indication). Gonna try to get a big chunk of the next comic done before the weekend, but we'll see!

I'm a Cup!


First splash page in a while, since the holidays are always busy for me. OH GOD, one-and-a-half more weeks and I'm finally done. This comic has seen me through my college years. Is that weird?

Hey, I drew another thing! This one features Pepito, boobs, and a hunk of ambiguous meat. YUM! I've been on an oekaki kick lately, I'm hoping to keep doing one a week for a while. I keep forgetting how fun they are!

I've really been getting the itch to start Like Magic up again. I know I've said that about a billion times since I stopped, but I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately. New story arcs keep popping into my head, and I'd like to give it another whirl now that my skills as an AR-TEEST have improved a bit since I started it. Once I move back north in December, I think I'm going to give it a go at least until I find a job.

I've been working on this silly academic project on and off for a few weeks, which I'll most likely post here upon completion so you can see what's been competing for my attention lately. It's a bit unusual for me, since the assignment is heavy on the political side (and I'm not a very political person), but it has eels and cowboy boots in it, so you might enjoy it regardless. Eels are cute because they always look both angry and surprised.

On time-ish comic this week! Julian's ventilation shaft sneaking comes to an abrupt and noisy end, though where he's ended up, who can say! Rhetorical questions have this nasty habit of manifesting themselves in sudden and unpleasant ways.

Hey, there are gifts this week (some of them dating back a ways)! Four, to be exact, and three-quarters of which are a little on the naked side! Doodle-kun gives us a naughty little number featuring Mai and a precariously tipped glass of vino; Rapps presents us with a cute little Ruby pinup (who's actually not so little, if you want to get technical); and Rob sends in a sexy Pepito, who is enjoying one of her favorite activities. And then there's one piece which isn't OHP related, but I wanted to include it anyway: Cheezy made some Like Magic arts, featuring our two tailed protagonists (one in a rather compromising position)! Gift-tacular! Thanks again, y'all!

Eat Day approaches! This is one of a my favorite holidays, since it revolves around one of my favorite activities. Readers abroad: I will eat in your honor.

Here is a comic, wherein Lanogan's special power is revealed. For those who've been confused, yes, Lanogan is actually male, and yes, he is the fourth member of Queen's team. He is also one of the few people on board the ship who could fight an 18-wheeler with his face and come away the victor.

I made an oekaki for the first time in a while! Ruby fans, rejoice: there's plenty of her in this one, and she is plenty naked.

Holy crap, we're halfway through November already. What the nuts.

God dang, that took a million years. But, it was completed at last. An introduction for Mr. Lanogan has been a long time coming (but all good things are worth waiting for). To answer the obvious questions, no, Lanogan doesn't mind the cold, and yes, Professor Oliva's favorite color is blue.

I found myself a little sick when I woke up this morning, so I'm pretty wiped out. I'll be updating the cast page a little later in the week, though I really need to get around to redoing it completely. These projects tend to build up after all the procrastinating!

You Ate My Fucking Schnitzel.


Here is a comic! Ye Gods, OHP is just awash with new faces these days. And suspense! Oh, the suspense. You get 100 Cool Points if you can identify the emblem in today's comic without cheating.

Did you know that they just recently produced a new edition of the unabridged Hitchhiker's Guide? This one's done up all classy-like, with a black leather hardcover, cloth bookmark, and gold leaf (a much sexier affair than the blue deal you probably have on your bookshelf). It's also about half the size, go figure.

I have been a very bad boy, and have been playing We &hearts Katamari pretty much nonstop all week. I CAN'T STOP ME. THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP.

Jump Back! Wolf Pack Attack!


Now see, this new schedule is exactly what I needed. To celebrate, I made another comic. Jinny's going to be having a little bit of Quiet Time, but at least she'll be bored happy. Well, y'know, until she ends up in the brig, or taking a long walk out a short airlock.

Dude, the fanart section of the We &hearts Katamari homepage is so fantastic. Personalized comments from the King himself! I've got the urge to make Katamari arts all of a sudden.

Is it just me or is there not a whole lot happening on the Innernets lately? It feels... slow, or something.

Red Wine, White Wine, Whichever You Like.


An update! Behold, Episode 173! This is the part where all of you Jinny fans cast disapproving glares at me, and I cackle maniacally. I'll be honest, it's not often I can use the word "maniacally" in a sentence.

By the way, you might be interested to know that I've decided to change updates to Tuesdays. Lately I've really been needing the weekends to finish up, and since updates have been happening rather consistently by Tuesday the past few weeks anyway, this seems like the most logical course of action. Trivia: OHP has now officially moved Update Day completely through the weekly calendar!

I have no other exciting news. See you next Tuesday!

Hey now, Episode 172 comin' at ya. OHP's MovableType database has been repaired and upgraded; I'm not sure how long comments were down, but they're definitely working again now.

Three great pieces of gift art this week! Super Thanks go out to Amberdrake (for a fantastic Queen, Devo style), Tei (for a NORTY little number featuring our two body-swapped heroines), and Liebemaus (for a most delicious Pepito). You have made me a happy GD.

On the sad news front, OHP's Wikipedia article has been nominated for deletion (and the votes for it are overwhelming). So much for that. However! Picking up where we left off, the article has been moved over to the Comixpedia Wiki, where it should enjoy greater freedom. If you'd like to help build the article, please feel free!

I'm Lifting Off.


Hello again, readers. I come bearing Episode 171, which has a fair bit of text, but also more Jinny (for those of you who have become Jinny fans). I'm back in LA to go one more round with the old university, so updates will be resuming their weekly status. For those of you that just recently joined us during the sporadic update schedule, normal updates happen some time over the weekend.

There were two cute gifts this week, both from May Day! The first features Zukie sporting some technicolor undergarments, and the second may very well be the first piece of extras gift art I've received (it's 2% Girl, by the way)! Thanks again!

I do believe I'm just about caught up on my e-mail, now! There's only handful left that need replies, and I'll try to polish them off in the next few days.

Christ, so busy. Episode 170! Julian gets better acquainted with his new friend, who's turned out to be only moderately creepy. Hey, you gotta take it where you can get it, right?

Readers of Girly have probably already figured out what the secret project was! I did the strip for Wednesday, you can see it here. Girly is one of my favorite online comics, so you should totally read it!

Some work was added to the art section. Rotraucher isn't new, but the only people who would have seen it thus far are those of you reading my LiveJournal. It updates semi-regularly and I tend to use it for whining.

I updated the cast page, though it's far from complete. I need to whip up some nice portraits for everyone, and possibly get cracking on a secondary cast section. Believe it or not, writing the bios is one of my favorite parts of doing the site. HOW NERDY.

I am a terrible person and still haven't finished getting through my e-mail. Until October, I'm putting OHP on an Update Whenever Schedule so that my underwear remains un-knotted. To know the split second when OHP is updated, subscribe to the RSS feed!

Time Out From The World.


Whoah Nelly, now that's what I call a break. The comic was ready to post earlier this afternoon, but apparently Los Angeles exploded, taking Dreamhost along with it (alright, so it was just a county-wide power failure... that's pretty close, though). All of my sites seem to be back up and running, which is always nice. For all the shit-talking I do when things go wrong with Dreamhost, they really are a swell provider. Hear that, guys? I loves ya even if you were offline all day today.

So yeah, here's that comic. Just in case you thought everyone forgot about Julian, he's still alive and kicking (figuratively). Of course, you can't be the most fantastic bounty hunter in the whole universe without picking up some fans along the way... including the occasional obsessive one here and there.

In all honesty, I haven't touched my e-mail except for a few select pieces that required an immediate reply. I've got a secret project that I need to finish in the next couple days; once that's done, you'll get to see it (and I'll get back to answering e-mail). There's a lot to reply! Sorry about the wait!

Hello! Here's Episode 168. Pepito and Zukie are not the brightest bulbs in the pack, but hey, don't fault them for not quite getting Earth culture. Besides, Rika's description of the dairy industry is way more interesting than it really is (or should be), so let them come to their own conclusions.

There's a really cute gift this week from Amanda! Look at that adorable Pepito. SO CUTE (and kinda weird, too). Thanks again!

I'm going on a little vacation this week, so I'll be updating on Monday or Tuesday, most likely with a splash. There's obviously no Photoshop in the hotel (no laptop), and I'll probably be too busy enjoying myself and doing vacation-type things to work anyway. So yeah! See y'all next week!

More awkward restaurant antics! Rika seems to have found the one thing that'll make the D'bos lose their appetites. Seriously, though. What was prehistoric Earth man thinking?

My back is feeling much better, thank you to those of you that wished me well. Sitting no longer makes me feel like someone punched me in the left kidney. I am still not 100%, but I'll manage. OHP will be updating again the following week, I'm gonna be resting up this weekend.

There was a cute sketch from MaladorWN, featuring Rika and Pepito! Thanks again!

Thanks also to those of you voting every day since BCx came back up! OHP is right around #30, which may be the best it's done thus far!

Comic time! Just in case you forgot, the D'bos have this bad habit of kinda eating people. This might make for an awkward night out. Two cameos this week, by the by!

There was a totally awesome gift from Seireeni this week! She's done a Pepito in her fantastic style, it's really rather marvelous! Thank you again!

I am rather behind on e-mail, I must apologize to those of you waiting for a response... I'm heading north once again to visit my folks for the remainder of the summer, so I'll reply once I arrive tomorrow night.

I am an unstoppable juggernaut of Sunday updates. Believe it or not, the Classy Lady in panel one took the longest out of everything that needed to be drawn in this strip. Why'd the extra end up giving me so much trouble?!

Oh man, last week of class. The nigh-completeness is palpable.

Today I'm Dreamin' of Yesterdays.


Episode 164! Mai definitely has her priorities; whether or not they're in the right order, well... that's a different story altogether.

Not much to say this week... Hey, I'd really like to thank y'all for tackling the OHP Wikipedia entry the past few days! It already looks 100% better! If anyone else would like to go even further, feel free! You guys are awesome.

There now. Sunday night updates are a step in the right direction. Have Episode 163, full of almost-the-weekend flavor. As much as Mai likes taking Ruby's rack for a test drive, the idea of spending the rest of her life as a cyborg is not quite so appealing at the moment.

There were some really awesome gifts this week! Zamora whipped up a positively scrumptious pairing of Rika and Mai, Emerarudo made an adorable Mai, and Jos sent in a fantastic Ruby. Thanks again, you guys!

And now, a date with the mattress.

God dang, another late one. Episode 162 happened, though! More Mai and Ruby tom-foolery for the discerning OHP reader. I looked over some of the older pages over the weekend and LAWDY if the drawing style doesn't look like it was done by a completely different person in the early strips.

I gotta recuperate from a crappy sleep schedule, now. I'll tell you what, though. I'm gonna do my damnedest to have the next update at least happen on the freakin' weekend this time. Playing catch-up gives me the fits.

What a late comic post this is! Summer quarter started and I've been ridicu-busy, which is kind of a drag. But, I've got work to do, so... I had to wait for some free time to come up. So at last, the meeting! And this time, no aphrodisiac-induced stupor to get in the way of lucid conversation! Mai's having a terrible time keeping Ruby's melon from getting dinged up, though.

I've set up a new forum! After things at EBP started winding down, I decided I'd try my hand at running my own forum again. It's a little slow right now (nowhere near as big as the former forum, which in its heyday was a bandwidth juggernaut), but if you sign up, you can help change that! It's also doubling as a forum for Fearsome, so if you lurk there, you can sign up and chat even if you don't post pictures. See you there, hopefully!

Don't forget that OHP has a new domain! is easier to say and is about one million times more relevant to the comic.

Sweet is Good.


Operation: Get Clothes is successful! But that still leaves a rather uncertain task ahead of her and a certain Ms. Maxim (currently borrowing Mai's petite frame). Oh my!

Guess what! OHP has a new URL! You can now access the comic via the much-easier-to-remember Dot Net, not Dot Com. If you're linking to OHP, use the new domain instead. Right now it's mirroring, but I'll be making (the site you're probably reading from right now) the mirror soon.

I'm heading back to LA today, where I'll be catching up on all my e-mail. Something weird's been going on with the webmail for my server, so I haven't been able to reply. I will later tonight, though!

Do You Like Our Owl?


This week is a splash page while I catch up on lots of various things going on in my life. Normally I'd be a college graduate right about now, but these days I guess they never let you out in four. So, I'm killing some time until the next quarter starts; sadly, the CRT monitor I'm using right now is in its death throes, which is making it very difficult to get any substantial comic work done (I can't tell the difference between grey and black or pink and brown on this thing, if that's any indication). I was hoping to get it fixed while I was home, but it would require skipping a week... or waiting to do it until right before I left for LA, where a real monitor awaits me. I'm going to get an estimate on Monday, so I'll make another post then to tell you all if a comic will be posted this coming week.

EDIT: Crisis averted! A working CRT has been procured.

There was a mega sexy gift this week from Dragonchilde! Pepito is sporting the latest in OHP fashion (and filling it out quite well, I might add...). Thanks again!

I guess a hacker went and pissed all over the Eternal Beach Party forums over the weekend, which has left things in an uncertain state for the future of the board as a whole. I'm gonna be riding it out and seeing where we land. If it ends up folding, I guess I'll try my hand at running the forums again (though I'll have to wipe the remnants of the old forum, since it somehow got all buggered while we were away). Either way, thanks for being such a prince and hosting OHP's section, Josh!

It is a well-known fact that aliens possess a variety uncanny abilities. The D'bos are adept at the skill of Hyper Clothes Changing, a mystical art from a world far away. Earth folk cannot even begin to comprehend this complicated technique.

I really like this Javascript bookmarking tool that I'm seeing popping up on various webcomics. I think I'm gonna give it a go with OHP, but I've gotta make some graphics for it first. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

There were some cool gifts the last few weeks! Ultra Thanks go out to Jennums, Serenagold, and Dark Kuja! Happy GD.

My fourth year ends on Monday, so I've been ridiculously busy. I can't wait to head north and relax for a few days. And then... Summer Session. YUCK. Two more quarters and I'm done, two more quarters and I'm done...

HEY INTERNET: OHP returns! I must apologize for the day-late episode; I'd anticipated that I'd have plenty of time to work on the comic the last two weeks, and it turns out I really didn't. Been hanging out with good people, so at least I was accomplishing something productive.

If it's any consolation, I oekaki-ed twice during my hiatus. Both pictures feature Rika and Mai, and you can bet they're not safe for work. How do you like them apples! Mai has been a frequent request for future oekaki, so Mai fans, please enjoy. Rika fans will probably enjoy, as well.

There were some cool gifts, too! Some of them still need to be uploaded and linked, so I will do that later today.

Jesus, this school year's almost over. And then I'm gonna be a fifth year. SAVE ME.

Clouds Up.


Monday morning greetings, gang. I come bearing the final installment of Chapter 5. Naturally, this sets the stage for some back-story in the coming chapter, which has been a long time coming! And, since we've reached the end of another chapter, I'm taking a much-needed break. Chapter 6 will be starting on June 3rd. In the meantime, don't be afraid to drop by the forums.

Hoping to maybe get some oekaki and possibly an illustration in during the break. We'll see, I suppose!

BCx seems to have bought the big one, which is why you might be seeing 404 errors if you try to vote. I guess they didn't bother to upgrade their bandwidth when they came back up for a brief second earlier last week. Oh well!

The new Musashi game is pretty swell. I am sort of fond of the original, as you may or may not know, so the prospect of a sequel to one of Square's few amazing titles (Einhänder being the other) made me giddy. It plays like a polished up version of Brave Fencer, and while the soundtrack isn't quite as endearingly quirky as the original, surf rock is still quite enjoyable. Thumbs up from me.

See you in June!

You're a Kumquat.


Hello World at Large. I made another comic this week for your viewing pleasure. I'll bet you didn't know that martial arts and massage had so much in common! Somewhere out there in space, people are performing a combination of the two that would blow your mind.

Wouldn't you know, right when I link up BCx for some OHP voting action, they go and have a bandwidth outage and make me look like a fool. Let's assume, however, that the bandwidth outage was caused by a Mighty Voting Fury of OHP fans. Good work, gang! Keep it up!

I am fully recovered from my mystery illness. Thanks to all who wished me well! Now I can stay inside and draw all day, rather than stay inside and lie in bed all day. Victory!

Midterms are coming up, but I'll try to prevent them from messing with OHP updates too much. Till next week!

City of Despair.


Jesus, what day is it? The inside of my head feels like a blender. I am not fond of being sick. I made a new episode, though. Those rascally D'bos! OHP is a comic where people end up naked a lot.

There is some delightful gift art from the past couple of weeks! Big thanks go out to Tei, Emerarudo-chan, and NibbiMonster! There is a powerful amount of D'bo cuteness, and some (NORTY) love for Mai, too! Thanks again, y'all!

Aside from being sick, part of the reason I am so behind is that I had to go see Ben Folds perform live (and yes, that takes priority before working on OHP). Actually, that's probably where I got sick. Still, it was a worthy sacrifice. I love that guy something fierce. Getting to shake hands with your favorite musician in the whole damn world is just like... wow. He has curiously soft hands, coincidentally.

I'm still updating this coming weekend. No rest for the wicked! Also, I think I fixed something RSS related. The feed should now register as the alternative index.

Also, new month, kids! Vote OHP onward to toplist (and topless) victory!

Have a comic! I must apologize to those of you who follow my doings via the RSS feed: I updated MovableType, and decided to try to get full syndication working again while I was at it... Naturally, I didn't actually accomplish anything. That is, aside from somehow resetting the dates for a bunch of the entries, which most likely showed up as 15 new news posts in your readers. Oops. I may have to just break down and ask somebody to help me with this eventually.

I'm still answering e-mail, by the way. I'll definitely get back to everyone by the end of the day, I've just got a couple week's worth of catching up to do. I'm unfortunately pretty pokey with that sort of thing. That said, there's been some cool fan art this week; I'll upload and link that soon, too. Lord, I am such a SLOW.

Everybody go buy the new Ben Folds albums. Go on! That's the spirit.

Glory to the Moon! Mercy on the Earth!


Comic time! This is what is known as a Bad Sign. Keep your fingers crossed for Rika, she can use the extra luck right about now.

Guess what! This week there is a totally amazing gift! blackmyst fights the good fight and presents us with The Sexiest Anya Ever (NSFW). Seriously, look at that. Lawdy! Thanks again, sir! You rock my world.

I want my tax refund right now. I don't care that I just mailed it last week!

P.S. I just fixed the opacity on some missing graphics in the last panel.

P.S.S. Okay, I fucking give up on trying to work on the RSS feed for tonight. I don't understand XML at all.

Can I Speak to Nathaniel Merriweather?


Sorry for the delay, had some College Things to attend to during the week and didn't have much time to draw. At any rate, here is the latest episode. With friends like these... well, they kinda occupy that strange middle ground between friend and enemy, anyway. Hopefully Rika took a deep breath.

This week, Amberdrake presents an adorable gift! Anya's psychic powers let her know exactly what the horn-dogs at Fearsome are planning on drawing... For shame! What a cutie, thanks again! This is the second Anya gift, by the way!

In case you missed the amendment to the last post, I reorganized the chapters of OHP. The current chapter is now number 5. To see the results, take a look through the archives (and tell me if I messed anything up!).

Till next week!

Okay, I'll be real honest with you. I was toying with the idea of partaking in the April First Shenanigans that run rampant in the webcomics world, but then I became concerned that my attempt might turn out lame. The odds just weren't in my favor! I made a normal comic. You'll have to cope.

I've reformatted the chapters of OHP. What does that mean for you, the reader? Not a whole lot, except that the archives should be a little easier to navigate now. The current chapter is now number five; and actually, chapter five is almost over!

Chapters are going to be a bit shorter from this point on. This really isn't going to have any huge impacts on the comic itself (except that now a chapter can be completed in under a year... HAH), but it's worth mentioning to avoid confusion. Hypothetically, this might also make organizing the story for a print collection a whole lot easier. Hypothetically, you understand!

The past week's been mostly a blur thanks to the assistance of my Bay Area running buddies. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now, I need to sleep forever. You should vote, though! It's a new month, after all. And if you notice anything completely out of whack with the archives, drop me a line, leave a comment, or jump on the forums. Thanks!

Quick post this week, a splash page with a mixture of sinister and... pirouette. Back to full-size updates this week, just needed the time to concentrate on academics and then properly unwinding afterwards.

Holy crap I haven't caught up on e-mail in forever. I'll totally fix that this weekend.

Uhh... the PSP seems neat, I wish I had more disposable money. Actually, I like my SP just fine. But man, portables have gotten fucking nuts all of a sudden. I still have my Game Gear tucked away somewhere... I remember when I thought it'd never get any better than that. Only now instead of Columns, there's Lumines. WHOA DUDE.

I love all of you.

She Don't Use Jelly.


Hello again, Internet! I got the Big Nasty Paper out of the way, so I was able to get back to doing stuff I actually care about, like finishing episode 148. A little more exposition concerning various gizmos, as well as a little something to help improve Queen's mood (obviously this is bad news).

There were awesome gifts this week! From Itamiko, there's a cute little Pepito sporting a snazzy new outfit. And from Van, something a little NORTY, featuring the same Miss D'bo and a certain Eve from a certain White Hydra! Even if it doesn't work, Pepito, it's for a worthy cause. Thanks a bunch, you guys!

The Whatever and Ever Amen re-release comes out in a couple days! It'll be cool to get a bunch of those B-sides on an actual album and not in crappy-sounding MP3 bootleg form. So like, hooray!

Only one more assignment left, and then I get to go home and sleep (more).

Queen's in a bit of a sour mood after being made a fool by our purple protagonists. The short ones always have short fuses, hopefully Lone's taking notes.

I oekaki-ed for the first time in a while. It's not much to look at, but you might find it amusing.

Matt Besser (Adair, of the UCB) is an awesome guy and I hope he does stand-up nearby again soon, because seeing him live was fantastic. It was surreal shaking hands with one of the guys responsible for my favorite show... ever.

Spring Break now, please. I'm tired of waiting for it.

"Live to fight another day" is the D'bo Battle Cry of choice; why fight for it when you can just run with it? Poor Queen's just too old fashioned with this dueling business.

New gifts were posted! Thanks again to Chrissa, Josh, and Rob!

If you are totally awesome, you should vote for OHP. But only if you rock. Okay, even if you don't rock, you can still vote.

Oh! If you're still one of those people wondering about whether or not you should start your own website (or just want to move to a better, cheaper server), Dreamhost has extended their triple bandwidth, triple storage deal once again (I'm starting to think it'll never stop!). Check it out!

I like MAME. I think I'm gonna play Joe & Mac instead of doing my papers.

I'm Gonna Love You Till The Wheels Come Off.


Good god, what a busy Friday that was. I don't operate well on an hour of sleep, and that's all the fuel I had to make it through the day. But somehow, I managed to finish this week's episode. Honestly, I don't even remember completing it or posting it.

I finally finished the OHP History Lesson. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it's a little side-project I was working on which explains how some of my older comics evolved into the one you're reading today. Have a look!

I also updated the FAQ. That's not really all that interesting, though!

There were radical gifts this week (including one if you voted for Girly on Tuesday)! I haven't posted them yet, but I will!

I'm still working on responding to e-mail.

I Can Only Think in Job.


Interesting implications, indeed! There's a political power play in motion, but the shadow man's true intentions are still a mystery at this point. What secrets does the amulet hold about its true owner?

Academics are burning me out again. Just two more quarters and I'm done forever, though. Then I'm through with you, learning! I'll show you.

I just started playing Metal Gear Solid 3, even though I got it over the holiday. So far, I don't really like it. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. YOU'RE MAKING GD SAD, KONAMI. STOP IT. (p.s. Tell Treasure to make more Gradius Fives.)

That's all!

Puppy Whirl.


What could this mean...? What's the truth behind this mysterious artifact that Zukie's been carrying around? Queen seems to know, and that might spell trouble for our sisters. And everyone else, for that matter!

Because I'm a terrible creator, I totally forgot that OHP's third anniversary was on the 22nd of January. My punishment is that I'm being served buffet style to hungry K'babans.

Not much news this week. It's been sort of quiet! I did play through the arcade version of Battletoads, though, after a prompt on the forums. It's been a while, but I love that game. Why doesn't anyone make good side-scrolling beat-em-ups anymore? It's a dead genre. I was tempted to get Guardian Heroes Advance, but if all the stories about insane slowdown are true, I'd rather spend my money on something else. BOO.

Good night.

My word! It looks like that dastardly Lady Q's got more tricks up her sleeve than she's letting on! Just what are the Sisters D'bo gonna do now?!

Two fantastic gifts this week! That darling mully gave me a totally amazing Zukie, rendered in unprecedented realism! You have stolen my heart away. How cool is that! Pogojesus delivers a companion Pepito, pondering the deep mysteries of life. Cuteness overload! I heart you guys.

Now, I sleep. NANITE.

Lonely Rolling Star.


OHP returns! And so does Zukie, for that matter! What, you didn't think Queen would really get away with that, did you?

Two awesome gifts this week! The first one comes for Monsieur Ink, with the very first gift featuring the lovely Miss Anya! Being psychic certainly has its perks, especially if you like the attention... Man, such great T&A. Big enough to make a snazzy wallpaper, too! The second comes from Emerarudo-chan, who gives us a darling pic of everyone's favorite purple cannibal lesbian, Pepito! Cute cute cute (and naked). Thanks again, y'all!

Last week was sort of interesting because I received my very first legal threat (woohoo!), from a big news agency, no less (score!). However, it ended up not even having anything to do with me or OHP specifically, so the end result was almost a little disappointing. So please, readers, if any of you are lawyers and are planning on threatening legal action against me in the future, make it more topical so that everyone here can get in on the fun. Thanks!

Lately I've been itching to start work on Like Magic again, but just haven't had two seconds to even think about taking on extra projects. I guess basically I've been wanting to draw more smut, and I like doing comics more than individual oekaki. Maybe I'll make a pin-up this weekend.

Anyway, time to get back to schoolwork. See you fine folks next week!

Ridge 256.


Things aren't going so well for the younger Miss D'bo. The lesson here is to never underestimate someone with a penchant for dishing out pain... hindsight is, of course, always 20/20. What will she do?! What CAN she do?!

I've unfortunately gotta take this week off so that I can get up to speed in my academics, in which I'm falling a little behind. The next update will be on January 28th, but I may have some tidbits between now and then. If in doubt, drop by the forums and say hi.

Resident Evil 4 is totally awesome. That's all I need to say about that, really.


Diamond Cutter, DA! DA! DA!


MAN that was a lot of sound effects. My poor drawing hand. Looks like even the most cunning bounty hunter in the known universe has a hard time thinking his way around that sort of interrogation. Better luck next time!

I was going to post some digital pictures I'd taken in this news post, but not only does it look like my card was formatted incorrectly, but I also had a hard drive failure. So, digital pictures are the least of my problems right now (though I am sad that it looks like I'll be losing a dozen pictures that I can't exactly replace). I love technology.

Making OHP on an LCD is way easier than on my old CRT. I can actually see pixels again!

Polaroid Girl.


Happy New Year, everybody! 2004 was kind of a weird one, so let's try to forget it happened, okay? I'm ringing in 2005 with the latest episode of OHP, which is almost as good as a New Year's hangover. But nothing beats one of those, right?

That gorgeous Pyro joined in on the birthday deal and gave me this downright sexy gift of two certain Earthling ladies... So hot. Thanks again, Pyro! You are like three kinds of amazing. I will update the gifts section shortly.

Hope all of of you that wanted to sign up for some CRAZY awesome site hosting plans took advantage of Dreamhost's holiday deal. They haven't changed their pricing back yet, though, so if you wanna try your luck and attempt to squeeze in on their triple bandwidth offer, have a look!

Also, why not give OHP a few votes over at BCx to kick off the new year? That would be rad.

Future Proof.


Doing something a little different for the holidays this year, hope y'all don't mind too much. I used to dislike this time of year (despite my birthday being smack dab in the middle of it), but lately it's been growing on me.

Speaking of birthdays, I received a fabulous gift for mine this year from Allyson that just warmed my heart. It is so darned cute. Rika and Mai look so adorable. Thanks again!

The page seems to be completely falling to pieces since I left town for the holidays. Sadly, since I don't have my personal archive handy, fixing some of these things is not quite as easy as it normally would be. I was able to restore the main index here without too much trouble, but episode 74 has a fairly obvious problem that I'll be fixing as soon as I return. Also, for the meanwhile, I've disabled the poll system I was using since it's making the main page load at the speed of cold molasses. I'm setting up a new one that should work like a charm.

Hope the holiday season is treating y'all well. The next time I report in, it'll be time for a new year. Holy shit, where'd the last one go?

Right Way to Hold a Spoon.


Sup! Episode 137 is ready to go! And what's this? Does Julian have some sort of ace-in-the-hole for resisting the irresistible Anya?

Today I'm finishing up finals, and driving home for the holidays. This has been kind of a lousy quarter for me academically, since I got stuck taking a class that I ended up not needing, that will only be bringing my cumulative grade down. Oh well, that's college, I guess. I'm on holiday now, so who cares!

The 20th is my birthday! I like this day of the year, because I get to be even lazier than normal. Have a White Russian some time on Monday and celebrate with me!

In closing, the new Massive Attack album is so good. MAN.

Oh, I almost forgot! Dreamhost still has their insane bandwidth offer going until the end of the month! 8 bucks a month for 120 GB of bandwidth, folks! It doesn't get any better than that. Sign up today!

To the Full Extent of the Jam.


Hello! I am updating the comic on Friday again. It's a crazy world, I know. Just what has Julian gotten himself into?... Don't use auto-fire, man! They'll know!

Gift art! There's 3 new pieces in this update! Klest, Madadric, and Kaly, thank you! Happy day!

I don't take in a whole lot of anime these days, but every once in a while I catch up on things I've been meaning to watch or that come recommended to me. Berserk is one that's been getting obscene amounts of praise, so I went ahead and dug in. While the vast majority of Berserk was great, never before has a series screamed HOLY SHIT WE RAN OUT OF MONEY END IT QUICK quite as loud on the final DVD as this one. Highly disappointing, especially since the first five DVDs were so much fun. Oh well. I need more gory fighting stories to watch.

Just a reminder! Dreamhost is currently rocking everyone's socks with insane bandwidth. 8 bucks a month for 120 gigs of transfer! Seriously, folks. It's fuckin' nuts. It lasts a lifetime, but only if you sign up during the month of December! Check it!

There's a Pah-Pah-Pah-Pah-Party Goin' On.


Now that I've gotten a proper rest, here's some real news!

First of all, Friday comic update! Oh my! They're quite rare these days, like some sort of endangered comic species. Two more character introductions means two new entries on the cast page, so have a look if you are so inclined!

Added a new link to the right there, to an adorable little comic called Pawn. This one popped up on a mailing list a few days ago, and I couldn't help but tear through the whole thing. SO CUTE. It's got naked ladies, but since I'm guessing you folks probably like naked ladies, it ain't no thang. Also, if you don't already, read Acid Keg, because the writing is simply genius.

It's a new month, so if you like voting, please do!

BY THE WAY! Have you ever wanted to have your very own website, but weren't quite sure who to go with? Want no more, because Dreamhost is currently having the deal of the century. For the month of December, even on their smallest hosting plan (which is about 8 bucks a month), you get a minimum of 120 GIGS OF BANDWIDTH for the life of the account. Yes, that is one-hundred-and-twenty GIGABYTES. It's insane. I am almost positive that there has never been a better time to start a website. Click here, or enter "blockmind" as the referral, if you could!

See you next week!

You knew that this would lead to shenanigans, didn't you? C'mon... you knew it. Let's just hope that Rika's spine holds out for a little while longer. I'm gonna be taking this week off for the Thanksgiving holiday, so that I can spend some time with my folks and friends. OHP will be returning on December 3rd.

I got 4chan-ed over the weekend. That was kinda amusing.

Alien Hominid is totally fucking great. I really hope it sells well so that the Behemoth can continue to make quality games. They made one hell of a first impression. That said, BUY IT.

Have a food-filled Thanksgiving! See you soon!

That's What It Was. Cultural Orgasm.


Mission Complete! The reward is, of course, naked hugs.

I made a small update to the cast page, if you wanna take a look. So mysterious!

News proper later. For now... I need some fresh air.

I Am a Lab Rat. That Is a Sad Fact.


She's in! Sweet God in heaven, she's in. Well... most of her. That'll do.

I'm working on the RSS feed again (seeing Josh work on it gave me a mental nudge to give it another go). Hoping to actually get full comic syndication in there, rather than just the news posts like it's been for the past year or so. Even so, if you subscribe, you'll know the very second I upload the comic, since updating the news post triggers it. Ah, technology!

America had an election.

Alien Hominid is coming out around the 17th! Here's hoping it'll offset some of those BLAH video game purchases of late (Silent Hill 4, Neo Contra, Guilty Gear Isuka...). Till then... I'll just play Gradius until my thumbs bleed. Oh, too late...

Open-Face Knuckle Sandwich.


Comic's up. Will that poor girl finally get back inside and get some clothes on?! Haven't we been asking this very same question for weeks?! LAWDY!

I did a little oekaki. First one in a while; I keep stopping, because I've been having trouble thinking of random stuff to draw. So here's something random. Enjoy!

There is some totally awesome gift art this week! Like, completely amazingly awesome. Two gifts from Monsieur Ink: One is a recruitment poster for aspiring bounty hunters (so cool, check it out!), and the second is a little costume play for Halloween. From RSJ, somethin' a bit NORTY... Julian's doing some Halloween dress-up of his own (probably not safe for work!). From Quark, a darling little maid Pepito amidst a sea of SEXY and CUTE ladies (and Carrot, who is not a lady). From Gravitation, a familiar scene from early on involving a sandwich. And from Erin, a snazzy little link button featuring Moped Rika. Thanks so much, you guys! Gift art is seriously the best part of doing a webcomic.

Also, I added a few links on the right there. One to my journal (which contains lots of boring GD ranting), one to my SA account (it's pretty much the same stuff here, only with less digging), and one to OHP's history (which got lost in the news archives before, whoops!). I'll be adding more to the history lesson soon.

In closing, can I ask the people or robots who are spamming my MT comments with ads for coffee and card games to please drop dead? Of cancer? Thanks.

Things are finally starting to come together, as things often do in comics if you give them enough time. Don't ask me how she was planning on defending herself with an umbrella, I don't know either.

Not much news this week! I beat Silent Hill 4, so now I can finally give it a (permanent) rest. Neo Contra was a huge disappointment, since it was way too easy. What a waste of 40 bucks! There isn't even a harder difficulty to pick. And that's honestly the only thing wrong with the game. If it was just HARDER, it'd be grand.

Piss. No sooner do I sign up for PayDirect than Yahoo! decides to shut it down. CRY.

I have nothing else to complain about currently!

We interrupt this pitched battle between B. Queen and Pepito to bring you back up to speed on Rika's dilemma! What, you didn't think I'd take full advantage of that cliffhanger? Tsk tsk.

The vast majority of you have the suspicion that either Ruby or Julian are the prime target of Queen's intergalactic manhunt... interesting, indeed! Well, while you continue to chew on that one, I've whipped up another poll. I'm actually sort of interested in how people have been finding OHP, so... tell me, why don'tcha!

I guess there's some sort of new e-mail virus that's going around for you Windows blokes out there, judging by the recent surge of Internet Vomit landing in my inbox. People, seriously, do yourself and your friends a favor: buy a virus scanner. Or better yet, buy a Mac.

For everyone who hasn't yet witnessed the sheer awesome that is Sockbaby, click that link. Y'all remember Earthworm Jim and the Neverhood, right? Creator Doug TenNapel tries his hand at live-action martial arts (on a shoestring budget), and the result is fucking hilarious. Watch, and be amazed. Sham bam bamina!

Alien Hominid comes out in a few days! So does Neo Contra! I'm a happy camper.

My, Earth Really Is Full of Things.


A splash this week, as I'm heading out of town for der Geburtstag meiner Mutter. This spread is a spoof on a relatively well-known comic cover by Hirohiko Araki, of JoJo fame... because I am a big nerd. And because it's an uncanny fit! Too bad Pepito doesn't have Star Platinum to help her out...

I'm probably forgetting something, but I can't think of any news off the top of my head. Till next week, folks!

P.S. I've enabled comments on my news posts.

Royal Rainbow!

Uh oh! How quickly the tables turn! This is bad news for little Pepito, she seems to have underestimated the competition! Bad move.

There's a cute gift this week from tani! Julian is looking particularly styling and princely. Thanks again!

Games! I've been playing them on and off since I got back in between drawing, class, and sleep. Here's the brief breakdown:

Silent Hill 4: Holy disappointment, Batman! I feel guilty paying full price for this, it's so mediocre.

Katamari Damacy: Seriously the best thing I've played in the last few years. That's no exaggeration.

Gradius V: HARD. Brain-rapingly hard. I love it!

Monsieur Niko gave me a heads up about an upcoming game that I am actually salivating over: Alien Hominid. Appears to be the spiritual successor to the Metal Slug series (hitting consoles soon, from independent developer the Behemoth), and I'll be damned if it doesn't look positively JUICY. Look at that! Seriously, watch the video. Is that shit not completely amazing? The bosses look incredible. The Hammer & Sickle boss is just... genius. I love you, the Behemoth. You're getting my dollars as soon as this hits the shelves.

I had to disable donations with PayPal a couple days ago since I found out about their totally awesome new policy concerning adult content. In a nutshell: If you have any kind of adult content on your site, and that site uses any function of PayPal whatsoever, not only will they close your account and seize your funds, but they'll also stick you with a nice little $500 fine. You know, because the amount of havoc you're wreaking on the PayPal servers totals roughly 500 dollars. After searching around for alternatives, I settled on Yahoo! PayDirect, because they seem pretty decent. All you need to donate is a Yahoo! account, some money, and you're good to go. If there's anything screwy going on (or if they try to hit you with any surcharges I didn't catch when signing up...), PLEASE tell me. Thanks!

Okay, that's it.

Eh? Woolong Tea Service?

Comic time?! There are a few lessons to be learned here: 1) The cute ones are never as harmless as they initially seem; 2) Garbage cans are versatile; 3) No matter how cool you think you are, nobody can be cool with a shiner.

I'm moving back to Los Angeles this weekend (for the second time...), so I'm skipping this week to give myself proper moving/unpacking/preparing/recouping time. Then, it's back to semi-regular comic updates. Hooray!

I updated MovableType to version 3.11. Good stuff.

There were three awesome gifts since the last update! The D'bo love is in full force. Alluvial delivers a naughty little number with Pepito and a little self-insertion (no pun intended). instantphoenix has made an animated Pepito that is totally freaking cool (watch... she smiles!); this would officially be the first piece of animated OHP art, you beat me to the punch! Last but not least, Don Bob shows the sisters up to no good with Rika's wardrobe again; gotta admit, it's a solid plan. Thanks a bunch, y'all!

Thanks for putting up with my bogus schedule this summer! See you next weekend!

Yes Sir, I Can Boogie (If You Play a Certain Song).

For a space pirate, Pepito is usually pretty meek. There's really two things that bring her out of her shell: coming between her and love, and coming between her and her sister. Looks like Queen's about to learn that the hard way!

Holy Jesus, if there aren't gifts up the wazoo! Pepito and Queen get the majority of the love this week, but Zukie and Ruby see a little, too! I'd like to thank Mamabliss, Zamora, Chibi, Lurky, and Allyson once more, because y'all rock my world. Thank you!

Something totally amazing happened, by the way: THEY MADE A GOOD VIDEO GAME MOVIE. It finally happened! Go see Resident Evil: Apocalypse! It's everything the first one wanted to be. It outshines every video game movie to date. It's packed to the gills with references and homages to the series. Nemesis with his bazooka is LOVE.

Okay, I need to sleep and never wake up now. Bye!


Everybody loves a good throw-down, so I humbly submit this week's episode. Queen lays to rest any ideas that she might actually be one of those nice people that are frequently misunderstood: she's actually kind of a bitch. Oh well! Live and learn, Pepito.

This week there are three fantastic gifts, all featuring the one and only Pepito D'bo. RPin pits Miz D'bo against that foxy Samara from White Hydra, and Allyson dresses Pepito up in her favorite Earth duds. Thanks, guys! I also found a completely adorable Pepito by Neko no Tsuchi over at Art Fu's oekaki board, but I can't comment and couldn't access the profile page for an e-mail address... So Neko, if you're reading, thanks! I love it!

I posted the ad that I was running over at Girly in the art section. Yep.

Okay, that's it for now. Time for me to get back to work on comics.

Showdown! Queen finally gets a full introduction, but this certainly can't be good news for everyone's favorite sheepdog-haired ditz. Who will win: French Maid or Dominatrix?! For the curious, that's not a naturally bifurcated tongue. Chop chop.

For those visiting for the first time from josh l.'s Girly, hello! May your stay be filled with purple lesbians and naked cyborgs.

Vote if you want! That'd be extra sweet.

Warning for those with short attention spans: long post ahead!

Some of you might be glad to know that the school year is fast approaching for me. This will help with keeping the update schedule a little more consistent, since I won't be dealing with a 9 to 5 for a while (or rather, a 1 to 9). I hadn't anticipated such a heavy workload, mostly because I hadn't anticipated joining ranks with the management at the frame shop I work at. It was sort of a lucky break on my part, because I'd applied just after the previous lead walked off the job; having some previous management experience, I was pretty much a shoe-in. Unfortunately, it also means that I'm in charge of the store a lot of the time, which is both exhausting and greatly demanding of most of my time (free and otherwise). When I get home at night, I don't feel like drawing. Not because I don't like drawing anymore, but because I'm too tired to concentrate on anything. All I want to do is sleep.

During the day, all I want to do is draw. But, when you're running a retail store, you don't have time to steal away and work on comics. Lunch is just long enough to eat. There's really no free time except on my weekends (which this week happened to be Sunday and Monday). And then, after being cooped up in a store all week, I want human contact that's more substantial than the superficial sales bullshit. I want to drink lots of booze and sleep in until the afternoon, cruise around town with the music turned up and hang out with my friends doing stupid things and having fun.

So, the eternal dilemma: Do I make comics, or do I socialize? My solution so far has been to go 50-50, and the result is that the comics have been pretty late. I hope y'all stick with me through this. Believe it or not I'm still really having fun with the comic; it never feels like work. I look forward to completing more of it every day. I guess I just want to say thanks to the people who don't mind waiting a little longer to get the latest episode, because it makes me feel good.

Alrighty, kids. I gotta sleep now.

Mambo #8.

Back to more urgent matters! That little (big) body is just full of surprises (and jiggles).

What a terrible week it's been. I'm not gonna go into detail, but it's been pretty bad. Trust me on that one.

What's good, though, is the cute little gift we've got this week from Amberdrake! It's an absolutely darling little pixel Pepito. Thanks again!

In case you missed it, I posted three of my paintings in the art section.

Okay, that's all for now. I need to get some shut-eye before I get back to being a wage slave.


What, you thought I was gonna resolve last week's cliffhanger in a timely fashion? Well, you were wrong if you did. Not that it's a bad thing, mind you, but it was about time we checked in on Rika and Ruby-in-Mai. Ah, love.

Hey now, new month! If you could fling a vote or three my way, you know what that'd make you? A better person, that's what! That's, uh... whenever BCx is reanimated from the dead, much like some sort of Frankenstein's monster.

Lesson Two of OHP History is up! Just in case you somehow missed it.

Just because I'm hella late don't mean I'm skipping a week. Next update comes next weekend, so see you then.

A Silhouette of Doom.

This week you get everything: action, suspense, and even boobs in various kinetic states. Hot damn! Will she be able to hold on?! Will she ever find something to wear?! The answer to these questions and more next week (maybe)!

Correction! The elusive non-CG first page of Nomad Hearts has been found! The OHP History Lesson continues, this time with a monumentally less charming installment! Have at it, boys and girls.

I'm now employed, which is really cutting into my drawing time (as expected)... But, on the bright side, it's making the scarce time that I DO have to draw much more enjoyable, since I never have a chance to catch a breather at work. Ahh, I'm looking forward to the rest of my life.

Vote, why don'tcha! And I'll see you next time!

Resting Comfortably.

One panel this week, but it's a big one. Ruby fans, rejoice! Couldn't resist the opportunity for some good cheesecake.

Finishing up Lesson Two. For those of you just tuning in, catch up on a little OHP History here! Fun for the whole family. I've got some BID-NAZZ to take care of tomorrow morning, so I need to get a little shut-eye. Should be up this evening or Saturday.

Kind of a slow week, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. So, the usual parting shots: Slip me a vote or two, and I'll see you later!


I was late, but it's old hat at this point, so let's move on. Comic! Ruby gets to work on solving that whole naked problem, for better or worse. In the meantime, the kind little speech bubbles will keep her at least partially clothed.

You've probably already given it a look-through, but Lesson One in OHP History 101 is now online for your viewing pleasure! See how it all began by taking a trip back to 1999, a time before GD knew how to draw! Lawdy! Lesson Two comes next week, so stay tuned!

Those of y'all who are still voting, thank you! Alright, now I'll get back to work.

Soft Machine.

WORD. You'll have to excuse me about last week. I kinda suck at scheduling things. So anyway, I draw this comic that you might have heard of. Whip'd!

Okay! Have a look at this week's gift art! It's good stuff (some naughty bits, though!). The thanks go out to Kyoga, Doodle-kun, RSJ, and Somniac! I love you guys. And hey, I just went back through and added some more links. If you've contributed art and don't have a link next to your name, tell me (and give me the link too, make it easy for me)!

Thanks for voting, as usual! Keep up the good work, gang.

Working on a comic compilation to explain OHP's history a little. Anyone remember Dimensional Nomad or Nomad Hearts? Old school!

Okay, later.

Apricot Sunrise Came.

OHP is back! Did you miss it? Let's pretend you did, anyway! I'm extra tired right now, because I just finished another cross-state trip. So I'm gonna try to keep this sucka brief.

There was some real spiffy gift art while I was away! Super Big Thanks go out to Outlaw Ink, Pyro, and Zefiel! You guys are hella awesome.

Hey! You're all such good fans. ;__; Even with the two-week hiatus, y'all have kept OHP up there on the BCx list. Thank you! Why not celebrate with a vote or two? Vielen Dank!

Okay, sleepy time! Till next week!

I'm Super-Brain (That's How They Made Me).

Well, here it is! Another chapter finished. And this time around, something mysterious! You might even call it a "cliffhanger," if you swing that way.

Just to let you all know, I'm going to be taking two weeks off. OHP will be returning to it's normal hap-hazard schedule on June 18th. In the mean time, I'll be updating with any and all fan-art I might be receiving, as well as occasional oekaki updates (if they happen!).

There's a new poll! Choose wisely, and you might have bragging rights later down the road!

June is a brand new month! Toss me a few votes, why don'tcha! Maybe one of these days OHP will get to see banner-dom. Hey, it never hurts to dream!

See you all again soon! Thanks for reading!

Please Love Me... Once More.

Episode One-One-Four! Our wolf in sheep's clothing proves to be a little quicker on her feet (or rear, since she's sitting down) than the D'bo sisters anticipated! If you're scratching your skull over what exactly happened, you may want to do some catching up!

Gifts! There are two terrific gifts this week, both featuring the sweeter of the two sisters! The first is from Satbast and the second is from Van Douchebag (who so far is totally not living up to that name, what a nice guy!). Warning, they're a little too sexy for work! Thanks so much, guys!

Speaking of Mr. VD, he's got a real snazzy comic up and running called White Hydra that you should really be reading. You may notice that the list of links to the right has recently been updated, as well! All four additions are totally rad. Have a look!

This chapter's almost over! Oh, the excitement.

(Hey You) What's That Sound?

Okay! Well, that was certainly a bit of a wait. But, as you can see, I've spent some time doing a little Spring Cleaning around here. This site has been begging for a redesign for about a year, so I figured it was high time for a little something new. And, of course, there's a comic to go with it.

Something a little different in terms of fan art this week! Outlaw Ink went and made his very own Ruby in that there City of Heroes game, and the results are pretty damn awesome! Have a look in here! Thanks again! That is so cool.

If anything doesn't work, or behaves strangely, I would be most appreciative if you could drop me a line: gdk AT Thanks!

From The Pits to Victory Lane.

As a little surprise for all y'all, and to make up for all these weeks of lateness, here's this week's comic a whole day early!

This week there is a marvelous gift from Kalyandra! She's put the technicolor sexy all over one of Gabo's Rubies, and the result is Totally Awesome. Thanks again!

I may have a supplementary update tomorrow. If you've been voting, thank you! If not, HEY. Vote!

You've Got to Say the Number.

Episode 111, anyone? Wow, this update actually happened on a Friday! Well, Friday night, but Friday nonetheless! Three cheers!

There's a really, really sexy new gift from Patches this week! She's made Rika look absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS. Thanks again!

Short news post! Oh, I almost forgot! It's a new month, so please give OHP a vote or two! Thanks!

Comic time! Hey, it's still the weekend, even! Wow. Quite a rarity these days, it seems!

There are two absolutely fabulous new gifts this week! From Mr. Lesnick we have a Powerfully Sexy pairing of Rika and Mai (Uh oh! Nudity!), and from Min we've got a very, very (very) cute Pepito. The answer to her question is yes, by the way! Thanks so much, you guys. :D

No other news for now. SEE YOU.

Casino Here, Casino There (Casino in My Hair).

This is Episode 109! The clue is in the eyes, folks.

There's a wonderfully sweet new gift from Amberdrake, featuring Pepito! Thank you!

I saw Volume 2. It was, of course, completely awesome.

Also, did an illustration for Mr. Lesnick's upcoming Polyp the Hunter print release! If you like adult comics, I think Polyp will rub you just the right way. Buy it! Sexy bounty hunters having sex, and decapitation. HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG? You should probably check here for news relating to that!

I think that's it.

Oh! R-Type Final is ridiculously hard. Now I'm done.

This time the comic sort of happened on the weekend. I'm getting better! No, seriously!

Hey hey CHECK IT OUT, this week's gifts are RAD! From Stylix we've got some seriously sexy Ruby ass, and from sdanond we've got an epic ensemble of the whole gang. BIG TIME thanks, you guys!


90% of My Mind is With You.

Boy, am I ever in a slump. Like, painfully. But, I'm back on the fast computer again. So that'll hopefully change real quick-style. HEY! I drew a comic. There it is! I'm trying to catch up, I really am. Until I say otherwise, OHP is on a kind of sporadic update schedule. AAAAAAAAAH!

Okay, enough rambling. There's some great gifts this week, some of which I got while I was on break and didn't get a chance to upload (sorry about that). We've got a swell Julian by Kalyandra, a quite sexy (and quite naked) Ruby by Gabo, and a most enigmatically colored Rika by Lindsey! Thanks a bunch, guys!

By the way, if you're interested in further ramblings, you can check out my journal. I don't update it frequently, but you might occasionally find a nugget of wisdom in there.

That's all for now! CIAO BABY.

Hi guys. I've been having trouble with my server since Sunday night, which has prevented me from posting last week's comic. Here it is! I'm not skipping this week, though, so be on the lookout this week for a new episode.

More news later, doods.

These Good People.

Hi there. I apologize for last week's little impromptu hiatus, but things went a little nuts and I needed time to recuperate. I did, so I've cooked up a little something for y'all for this week's comic. Bottoms up!

I have to tell you, in the past couple of weeks, I've received some of the coolest gift art just about ever. No lie. I'd like to extend hearty thank-yous to Leisure Butcher, Outlaw Ink, Cinderella Undercover, and Amy. Y'all have made me a truly happy guy. Seriously, people, check this stuff out. It's amazing.

I am so close to quarter break that I'm actually salivating. Peace out, and I'll catch you cats next week. Same place, same time.

Raindrops. Keep. Falling. On My... Head?

Their eyes met across the vacant apartment floor in Episode 104! It must be love. Mustn't it?

This week, there is an ultra sexy new gift from E! Careful now, the number is nine-one-one for a reason (dangerously hot).

Here's a little glimpse of the wallpaper I'm currently doing. There's also a Zukie to accompany that Pepito, but she's not quite done, yet. This has been kind of a weird process, because I'm drawing at 1600 by 1200, which is obviously much larger than I normally work at. Soon!

Thanks for the exposure, Josh! By the way, readers... in case you've somehow managed to not ever read Girly, I think it would be in your best interest to go have a look. Because, it's a terrific comic, and my opinion is your law. So there!

Hey, it's now the month of March! It would be seriously great if you could toss me a vote or two. I don't ask for much!

Goodbye for now!

The Air-Conditioned Nightmare.

Thank god, I'm finally done with midterms. I feel as though some sort of colossal weight has been lifted from my shoulders; three weeks of the stuff is something no man should have to endure. To commemorate this holy event, here is the Righteous Comic 103, packed to the brim with D'bos. Amen!

There's a delightful gift from Allyson this week! Thanks a bunch!

What else, what else... I guess there's no what else!

None of Them Knew They Were Robots.

Hello! It's a one-panel spread this week, so that I have a little bit of time to catch up for next week's episode... as well as a whole bunch of other duties I've been shirking. C'est la vie!

Hey, though! There's terrific gift art this week! The first is a real sexy Ruby/Mai trying to adjust, by Gabo. I'm telling you folks, the man's too good to me. He's gonna overload my circuits with RAW SEX. And that's not to mention the hot little number by Raine, who gives us everyone's favorite bountiful bounty hunter. Thanks very much, you guys!

I also did a little oekaki this week. Just to prove that I'm not completely useless.

That's all for now! See you again soon!

All Walls Are Great if The Roof Doesn't Fall.

Not too late this time around. Here is this week's shocking new episode! SHOCK!

There were three absolutely rockin' new gifts last week! Check 'em out! Mega-thanks to Gabo and Gabbie! Y'all made my day. Be warned, all three are SEXY.

By the way, I'd also like to thank you all for voting for OHP! We're up to around number 20, which is just completely rad. Keep up the excellent work! For some reason, the vote count was reset even though it's only halfway through February, but the fact that we're still way up there just makes me all warm and fuzzy. You're all good readers.

That's all in the way of news. See you next week!

Twenty-Four Purple Check.

What's this?! I'm on time? Your guess is as good as mine. One hundred comics, by the way! Like, whoah man. I don't even know!

I was hoping to finish up that surprise for the occasion, but as usual, I'm out of time again. Maybe this weekend will be just the time I need.

There's a new poll, in case you hadn't noticed! Vote it up, baby.

I don't have anything really interesting to say this week! Maybe next week. So... until then!

I Got The Whole Damn Nation on Her Knees.

Episode Number Ninety-Nine! Dang, man. That means that the next one is th' Big Hundred. That seems like a whole hell of a lot. And, it also means that people won't be looking for the comic pages that aren't actually there anymore! Seriously, people, the fact that I'm never on time should be a good hint that I don't have future pages stashed away on the site.

This week, there are two totally awesome new gifts! The first is an absolutely adorable pic of Pepito (and Rika) by the talented Ms. Patches. The second is a sexy little number of Ruby by Kabuki Katze. Thank you so much! My heart's aflutter!

Heyo, it's a new month! If you could vote up OHP, that would be supremely awesome. See you all next week!

Half-Jew is Not a Verb.

Hello! Here is a comic. I don't know the meaning of the word "punctual"! It's sort of sad that the Second Anniversary Comic is so late, but I've just been busy-busy-busy. So YEAH! OHP is now in two years old! Two whole years of awkward lesbian-type shenanigans! Let's have a party or something. BYOB.

There's some totally radical new gifts this week! Big sloppy kisses for Gabo and Aydoo!

Work on this goodie that I've been hinting at over and over again is going smoothly (but slowly). Not sure when exactly it'll be finished, but it will hopefully be worth the wait!

I really want to get some more pages of Like Magic done, but I just haven't had the time lately... which sucks because I've got some good ideas I need to get out. I felt really inspired when Eisu included Deidre in his pinup for Slipshine (that is still a major WOW), but balancing OHP with college has been sucking up every last drop of free time that I've got. Any congressmen reading this? I still want those extra hours in the day!

In other news, my pal David and I bought tickets for something TOTALLY AMAZING this coming Friday: Clerks, in the theater, with none other than Sir Kevin Smith himself in attendance. And following the show, a Q&A session until dawn. Words cannot describe how totally goddamn awesome this is going to be.

Mute City.

Hey now. Not quite so late this time! Check it out! The other characters really are still alive.

Still working on the aforementioned goody for this week. Gonna see if I can't get that bad boy done today or tomorrow for all y'all.

For now, I'm gonna sleep. Oh, I almost forgot! It may be halfway through the month already, but if you could vote for OHP, that'd really rock. Thanks!

Weapon of Choice.

Man, I don't know what's wrong with me. Drawing has been extra hard lately, and I've been nothing but tired for the last two weeks. It ain't fair, damnit! Anyways, here is a very late comic! Hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait.

There's been a bunch of great gift art in the last few weeks! I finally got them all up in the gifts section. Big thanks to RSJ, and another round of thanks to Matthias and Cheezy! You guys are all right in my book, y'hear?

So hey! It's a brand new year, now! Happy 2004 or something. OHP is getting close to the end of its second year, and once again I'm amazed that so much time has passed.

That's all for now!

Sycamore Trees.

I'll bet you thought I wasn't gonna update! Boy, were you wrong. I'm even putting this one up a little early, so that I might get to bed at a (somewhat) reasonable hour tonight. So, here's my holiday gift to you. Have at it!

There are two swell new gifts this week! One is a cute pairing of Pepito and Plum, of Bizarre Uprising fame, by Matthias. The other is a sexy little number (careful, there's a nipple) by Cheezy, featuring OHP's two current female attractions. Thanks so much, you guys. You've lifted my spirits this holiday, for certain.

I think that's all the important stuff. If I think of more, I'll let you know. Hope y'all have had a sexy holiday season!

La Gazza Ladra.

Well, I'm on time this week. Let's all celebrate with Episode 94. Cheers! As you can see, things are not exactly working out very well for our fair Pepito. Karma's a bitch!

According to the polls, your preference for Pepito's wardrobe is of the Emperor's New Clothes variety. Tsk tsk! What would your mother say? Runner up was the Earth garb, so I'm gonna assume that the hat is a popular fashion accessory. New poll coming soon!

Nothing else terribly new going on around here. I would say that the BCx ad campaign was a major success, since OHP has been getting all sorts of crazy traffic and exposure. I'll have to do that again some time soon!

On a final note, it's my birthday tomorrow. If it's anything like last year's, it'll be mostly a blur. Thank goodness!

Herbs, Good Hygiene, and Socks.

Have this here comic! If you're wondering why Pepito looks so distressed, remember that Ruby weighs about 500 pounds thanks to all that machinery. That's one heavy butt!

So like, now I'm on winter break for a month. Hopefully that will give me enough free time to get the jump on the next few weeks of comics.

I switched the news posting system here over to MoveableType, because the system I was using (read: doing it all by hand in HTML) was getting annoying, and the news archives page was getting unwieldy. I'm sort of learning as I go along, which is the way I do almost everything. You can now subscribe to the OHP RSS feed, if that's your thing! However, since I don't hard-code any of the links to local things on my site, the clicking of links may not work very well if you read the site externally. I'm going to try and integrate it better with the comic pages in the near future. This is going to make updating so much easier, though.

I guess there's no more news! For those of you voting, thank you! OHP has been cruising right up the list thanks to your support!

You Can't Escape the Danger.

This sure was a long time coming! I totally miscalculated the amount of free time I had over Thanksgiving weekend, and I guess I kinda blew it as a result. Oops. Here is a comic!

There are two absolutely marvelous gifts this week! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

To everyone visiting from BCx, howdy! I'm usually (marginally) better at updates than this. No, serious!

Speaking of which, it's a new month, gang! Be sure to vote OHP ahead in the Top 100! Thank you!

Alone in Kyoto.

ARGH, I am in such a slump. I am having the hardest time drawing lately. Rather than just skipping the week entirely, there's a (very) late one-panel. I will be updating again this week with a full comic, hopefully on time... though we'll see what happens with the holiday.

There are two new oekaki. They're the product of trying to motivate myself to get going again; it sort of worked! At least I'm drawing again, anyway. I guess that counts.

There's a bit of gift art! Check it out! Big thanks to S! Such cute D'bos.

Page 16 of Like Magic (not safe for work) is done. For those of you who don't know, it's an adult comic over at Slipshine. It's a subscription site, but there's a lots of sexy comics over there. I think you'll like what we've got to offer.

The car is finally back and in one piece... FOR NOW. One less thing to worry about. And with that, I leave you! See you on Friday.

A Cherry Pie That'll Kill Ya.

And so, something completely unexpected has happpened! Oh no! Will this dash Pepito's plans of an afternoon delight? Or just... sort of push them in another direction?

Sorry that the update was late again. But wouldn't you know: No sooner do I get my car's insides all fixed up than I get rear-ended, of all things. By some jack-ass in a Shelby Cobra, because he was reading while he was driving. The damage is pretty minimal (just a busted tail-light and some bumper damage), and he's paying for all of it, but it's such a hassle dealing with the insurance company, the DMV, and the body shop. I take quite a bit of satisfaction knowing that the guy totally cracked up the front of his car, though. I guess it was fiberglass? I don't really know my car stuff.

Okay, that's the end!

There's Always Someone Cooler Than You.

Hello! Needless to say, I'm back from my trip. And luckily, it didn't really affect OHP, since it's up on time. For the gory details, check the news post right below this one! And for those of you who really couldn't care less about my private life, by all means read this comic! It's got lots of boobs and French maid outfits.

A careful analysis of the polls shows us that the vast majority of you want Julian to say NUTS to his masculinity, and just wear girls' clothes all the time! Then there's another faction who prefer the suave charm of a business suit to the others... Maybe it makes him seem a little more high class. However, you've all decided that the Space Uniform is totally not your favorite! So much for Space Neckwear! There's a new poll, so feel free to cast your vote!

In other comic-related news, I got the next page of Like Magic all finished up, too. I was having a little bit of trouble getting that comic going, but I think I've got a handle on things now. It's the same sort of problem I had when I first started OHP, which was that I'm really no good at *starting* things. Once I get the ball rolling, I'm usually fine. Oh well.

I wish M-Audio would hurry up and update my sound card drivers! I want my surround sound back.

So anyway! See you next week!

I Might Just Get Up and Dance.

Not only is this week's comic on time, it's like 3 hours early! DANG. Bonus points, or something. The reason: I leave for Vegas tomorrow morning, and I'm busy packing/cleaning/doing everything in preparation. Hopefully I won't squander all of my dough in Sin City. I found out that apparently the Las Vegas Comic Con coincides with my visit, so I might have to head on over there and annoy a few people. You lucky dogs!

Let's see, what else... I never really have much to say in these news posts unless new art gets added. I think I've covered all of the latest movies, games, and software updates that I've recently engaged.

Been listening to the Guilty Gear XX #Reload soundtrack a bunch. I think it's really cool, even though everyone else seems to hate it just because it's Korean. WHAT-EVAR. Good music is good music.

Oh, hey! It's a new month, so please, vote your hearts out! Thanks!

Okay, I guess that's enough! See you next week!

Blush Response.

What the...?! What's this doing up on time?! If you want, I can take it back down and put it up on Sunday...

Gift jamboree! There's two from Cheezy, and one from Pyro! Thanks a bunch for the awesome works, you guys!

Don't forget to vote! The extra exposure is much appreciated!

So I picked up Panther tonight. It's pretty damn cool. Exposé is probably the coolest thing to be added to the OS in ages. It's so convenient that it's probably illegal in some states. So far it's done one weird thing, which is that it hard crashed on me while I was adjusting the levels on my sound card. But I haven't been able to reproduce it, so I'll chalk it up to Computer Weirdness. Only a few things were broken by the upgrade (mostly Unsanity stuff), but pretty much all of it was easily fixed with beta updates. So all in all, a pretty smooth transition.

I Feel No Electricty.

Okay, there wasn't really much news. I lied. But there is a late comic! YEAH!

If you want, vote like a madman. Or madwoman. It will raise your awesome power, and give you a +5 to charisma.

To everyone visiting from, hello! It's exciting to know that folks from around the world are reading. Hope you enjoy OHP!

Henshin-a-Go-Go, Baby!

So late! Sorry for the delays, it was a pretty awful week. I won't bore you all by going into details, but most of it was car-related. Here, enough about that, it's comic time. I'll try to be on time this week!

Viewtiful Joe finally came out here, which is a very, very good thing in my book. It's not just that the graphics rock (which never hurts), but the fact that the game is so damn fun. It's extra satisfying to be wailing on someone, then going into slow-mo, then zooming in, then going back to full speed as the little Jadow guys go flying away in all directions. Perhaps it's a part of some sort of perverse interest in time warping that "bullet time" has triggered in the very depths of my brain, but god damnit, I like it.

On a somewhat-related note, I went to see Kill Bill Volume 1 on opening night. It's definitely one of the most fun action movies to come out in years. From start to finish, I was glued to the edge of my seat. Every punch, kick, and slice was shot and choreographed with such loving detail that one cannot help but be wowed. I'm frothing over Volume 2, and I don't know if I can wait until February. How rare to be so excited over Hollywood!

There were two marvelous gifts this week, one from Cheezy and one from Klest. Thanks a bunch, guys! Sorry it took me so long to get them up here!

No more news for now!

Forest in April.

Okay, so here's the new schedule! OHP updates on Fridays now! That's right, FRIDAYS! We'll see real fast how long I can actually follow through on that for, but that is the current plan. To commemorate this new schedule, have a comic! Boy, am I generous or what!

Since the Top150 seems to have gone under indefinitely, I signed OHP up over at BuzzComix, which is practically the same thing. You know the drill! It's a new month, so VOTE! Thanks!

There's a new gift from Raine. Thank you!

While I'm still thinking of it, Pepito made a cute little guest appearance a while back in the Bizarre Uprising fancomic located over at their forums. It made me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

Don't You Flan in the Face.

Comic link! Sorry for the lateness!

New poll! Vote on which Julian is the sexiest!

Gifts! I love you!

I did a new oekaki! Man, I should do those more, they're fun.

I came across this the other day while looking through recent referrals. I must admit, I am simultaneously flattered and baffled that someone would write an OHP profile for this script. It begs the question: Why? There's no annoying banner ads around here, and I don't have any crazy scripts blocking specific types of bandwidth. But hey, I guess some people like downloading all their comics. So be it! In closing, Phantom Sex Party 2001. Be there, or be square.

Hi There. I Want to Talk to You About Ducts.

Man alive, I'm beat. This week's installment is of the splash variety; I tried something different and went for 2 panels rather than just the one. In case you haven't figured it out, Ruby is kinda tall!

Do feel free to chat it up at the forum if you feel inclined. There's not a whole lot going on there, but there could be! It's definitely in the realm of possibility.

I've noticed that the Top150 is currently deader than dead. I'm kinda hoping that it gets resurrected before the advertisement space I bought comes up, otherwise that would be kind of a waste and a bummer.

Speaking of currently dead, it looks like PHP isn't working around here. For now, load up this sucker from, which will always take you to the proper page. I'll hafta hound the server people to fix that.

T-shirt design almost ready for presentation! When it's good to go, I'll put it up, and I'll take the names of those of you interested. When we're all squared away, I'll collect the money, go to the printer, and we'll have a field day. Be on the lookout!

Rock This Bitch? Okay.

You know, I think I'm pretty much always going to be late. My lot in life, if you will. I was thinking about changing the update days to Friday, but this week is obviously testament to the fact that even THAT would have been a lost cause. Oh well! ;__; Have a comic, alla youse.

Clearly the vast majority of you believe that our friend Rika is of the Lesbian Persuasion! You people are just itching for some Girl Sex, aren't you? Can't two ladies share a moment of awkward homoerotic tension in peace?! Commemorative lesbian oekaki forthcoming. New poll soon!

I was reminded the other day that Intelligent Qube was a really cool game, so I've been playing a lot of that recently. There are certain games that break the mold when it comes to a certain genre; IQ is one of those puzzle games. It's one of the games where the mediocre graphics don't really matter, because the game is so damn fun. Why is there a lack of these types of games lately? I mean the fun ones. People get so wrapped up in making the graphics look awesome that they forget that their game sucks. I won't mention any names, but one of the guilty parties' names begins with an "S" and ends with a "QuareSoft".

Speaking of games, that Disgaea looks pretty cool. I want to give that a shot if I can find a store that actually carries it. Also, Mars People is totally the best possible character that anyone could have put into SVC: Chaos. There's hope for the gaming world yet!

Hail to the King, Baby.

Late again! One of these days, I'll be on time for more than one week. Honest. Oh well. Have this comic! It's not sex, but then, when have I ever drawn sex? I mean HONESTLY, people.

So anyways. Like Magic's up to page 11 now, as of last week. Hooray!

Last I checked, OHP is up to Slot 34 over at the Top150. That's totally awesome! So hey, YOU, if you've been voting, thank you! And if you haven't, you know what you should do? That's right, buddy, VOTE ME UP. If you vote each and every day, I'll love you so damn much. I'm so not kidding.

That's the end!

I'm. Not. Even. Here.

Okay, so maybe I was a little late. I ultimately won the battle with my drawing funk, though, so here is a comic! What's the poor girl to do! I know there are probably several of you thinking "sex" right now. What, do you people think I'm some sort of pornographer?

It's a new month, so that means you can feel free to go VOTE CRAZY over at the Top150. Lay 'em on me! You'd make my day.

Not much news, otherwise. Hopefully I'm back on track enough to update on time again this week. Wish me luck!

I'm a Detective.

Back from my break! I'm all moved in, so weekly updates are once more a GO. So here's this week's episode! We all know that the best games are topless games.

Silent Hill 3! It's amazing. Bought it and played through it this past week at night with all the lights off (the only way to play survival horror games, y'know). It's by far the best in the series, and it has replaced SH2 as My Favorite Survival Horror Game. Equal parts stylish as hell and creepy as hell. Also, watching Douglas deliver his lines in his underwear is by far the funniest thing in recent memory, aside from Johnny English. I love Rowan Atkinson. But I digress. SH3 makes me really wish Konami would give the original Silent Hill a facelift a la MGS: Twin Snakes. It's begging for it. Anyway!

Your votes have shot OHP way ahead in the Top 150! We made it up to number 40, which I think is totally fantastic. There was a definite increase in traffic around here, some of which I'm hoping to keep around as new readers. So for those of you who are new to OHP, hello! Hope you're enjoying the story so far!

Like Magic is currently up to page 10. I'll pimp Slipshine once again, and tell all y'all to go have a look-see if you like them NUDIE COMIX. I'll bet some of you do! Call it a hunch.

At some point in the next few weeks, I'm gonna try to reorganize the news and comic archives, so if the site suddenly goes all to hell, there's no need to fret, I'm just screwing around.

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